Bad Day? - We All Have Them!

Hey Everyone

I hope you are well and having a great week.

Recently I have been having a few ..... sh*tty days if I am honest. I have felt totally demotivated and felt like giving up, where my anxiety has completely taken over me and I didn't feel well on top of that. Now, I know we all get days like that but whenever I have them I then get into this mind set that I am not strong, a failure in life, a failure for feeling down and demotivated, like I don't deserve to have happiness etc... I think that is what makes it the hardest to pick myself back up. The thoughts that go through my head which are pretty much just putting myself down. It is okay to have bad days, weeks or even months (anyone else automatically go into the friends theme tune?). Even the people you see in the media who look like they have the perfect life and are super happy have crappy days where they are unhappy and feel like giving up. It is normal. And that is what I have been trying to tell myself.


The reason I am writing this post is partly as a way to get all my feelings out and make myself remember that it is okay and that having a bad day doesn't in any way make me a failure in life, but also for anyone out there having a bad day, week, month or even year (anyone else get the Friends theme song in their head again there?... okay I get it - I have an obsession). See, when I first lost my motivation on the weekend, I laid in bed all day watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls (which is awesome, you should watch it) and hid away from the world. Whilst that is not always a bad thing to have 'me time', it didn't help my mood and really I probably should have forced myself to do something I love. Whether it be shopping, playing with the dog, filming youtube videos or whatever else it may be. By forcing myself to do it, I start feeling happier because I am doing something I like that makes me smile and distracts my mind. Okay, I know it is not as simple as that to get myself out the funk but it is a step in the right direction and all those little steps are what helps pick you back up right?

Something I have done recently is sit down and try figure out what it is that is bringing my mood or motivation down. I know some things such as my crappy health are out of my control, but there are also things that are in my control. Whether it be who I hang out with and talk to or a job or whatever else it may be. We may not realise it but by surrounding ourselves with things like; the wrong people or staying in a job that we don't enjoy or really isn't right for you - they effect your mood massively and to some degree are in our control to try and change. I'm trying to make some changes in my life which are hopefully for the better... even if it is for the short term where I have more and more changes again and again until I'm happy. Nothing in life is perfect but then again what is perfect? Everything we experience and feel in life is what makes our journey and is what makes us us.

Sorry if you feel reading this was a waste of your time but just felt like getting it off my chest but also to remind others who are having a bad day that it is ok.... we are all entitled to regardless of what we do or don't have in our lives. There is always someone out there that loves you and that is all that matters :).... and hey - I will always be there for each and every one of you!!

I shall let you get on with your day... make it count
Thanks for taking the time to read and support me with all the lovely comments I have received lately. They mean the world to me

Stay Strong
<3

Never Be Afraid To Voice YOUR Opinion

Hey Hey 

How you doing? I hope you are having a great day and if it hasn't been great just remember to smile and push on through. 

Today I wanted to vent out something that's on my mind. I've come to realise that a lot of the time arguments happen for one of three reasons (besides that awkward one that just wants to be different). The first one is just simply lack of communication. Be it because it all stemmed from a rumour going round that wasn't actually discussed before yelling or someone is just too quick to start an argument with out talking or listening to the other person first. I feel like this one happens a lot and part of me thinks it is due to how we see the world around us. We are all guilty of judging someone or something too fast... don't even try deny it because it is true. We also are too quick to expect the worst in people which I think is partly to do with all the wars and negative things we see in the world be it something we see/ experience in person or something we see through social media. Social media can be a great great thing at times and can really help people but it can also cause brain washing to occur. We are almost taught to expect the worst from people (people we don't know in particular) and that then means that we've made our minds up what someone else is going to say or do before actually giving them a chance which then means an argument is started for absolutely no reason... but once you commit to an argument - I mean - you're committed right? Well technically no but for some people that is the case.

Another big reason for arguments is this thing people have in their head of 'I am right, how I view and think of things is more important than how you view/think of things'. I think it is safe to say I have experienced this one a fair few times particularly over the past few years. Don't get me wrong, I feel like this is another one that we are all guilty of at some point in our lives until we can accept that every single person in life is going to have a different opinion on absolutely everything because that is just life... our brains are all programmed differently and we have all experienced and seen different things that will cause us to have different views or feelings about certain situations. I've learnt recently that it is okay to have different views and almost agree to disagree and to accept that I have a different perspective on something. I am someone who doesn't like confrontation, it makes me so uncomfortable and I've always been someone who will take a while to snap but once I do .... I do haha! Recently I have really been trying to brush things off and remember that that person has or is experiencing something that caused them to react like that or have that view and that is
ok. It is okay to have your own views and opinions on things. The only thing is, sometimes people forget that and make an argument out of it because they think that their experiences and thoughts are more important or the 'correct' ones. No-ones feelings or views on anything in life are wrong or right..... they're opinions based on experiences and their on morals in life. People have this tendency to need people to agree that they've had a worse experience, or seen worse than you or that they're point of view on that particular topic is how everyone should see it. That's where the arguments start. I know as a chronic illness sufferer I have seen people at some extreme lows physically, mentally emotionally and I have experienced them through my life as well even before all my health. That being said, I never thing I have had it worse than someone else, I simply say and explain that I can understand to some degree. I don't think nope, I'm right in what I think and you have to agree because I've had it worse or what I think is right and that's that. Sometimes though, people do think like that and sometimes it is on a topic that pushes you that bit too far that you can't just brush off because if hurts your feelings when you get accused of stuff because that person doesn't realise that there is no right or wrong, worse or better in that situation it is just simply each person's point of view. It is okay to have different views in absolutely everything in life. I'll stop going on about this one as I realise I've talked about this point quite a lot - it was kind of the reason I decided to write this post if I am honest. 


And for the last reason why arguments happen..... some people are just so damn ignorant and stupid and look for fights because they think it is cool or will make people like them or well.... I don't even know why! They are just stuuuuuupid.

Don't judge a book by its cover or
assume the worst in people

I think the point I am trying to make is that, we all just need to blooming chill the *beep* out. We are all entitled to different opinions and feelings and we shouldn't instantly expect the worse in people whether we know them or not. It is okay to think differently and voice different opinions and experiences. No one person's experience is worse because at the end of the day, each person's best and worst experience is different so how can it mean their's is worse than your worst? Does that even make sense? I know what I am trying to say hahaha (go on girl - being excellent at typing your thoughts as usual)!!! It is the same idea as what one person views as a slutty outfit, another views it as that person being comfortable in their own skin and wearing what they want to and not caring what anyone else thinks because as long as they are comfortable then who is anyone else to tell them otherwise. Just because you have a certain opinion or experience doesn't mean you are any cooler or any better or more important. We are all equal and we are all entitled to opinions and we should never think otherwise. When we feel the urge to fight back at someone for something they have said or accused you of, take a deep breathe and try assess what is causing it to try stop it before it happens. If needs be walk away calmly and talk to the person once you have breathed and brush it off so that you aren't all emotional. We won't be liked by everyone and not everyone will agree with us.... but that's okay. If everyone agreed it would be boring right? ... right? If we just communicate properly and don't assume things..... things would be so much easier :)!! 

Okay.... I think I have vented it all out now! :) 
Let me know in the comments (or on any of my social media outlets) if you've experienced arguments for any of the above reasons or if you recognise these and use that to your advantage in trying to stop arguments. W
I don't know whether this post is helpful or pointless (depends on your opinion I suppose haha) but it was something on my chest and something I wanted to let out ... so.... I did :) 

That's all for today. I hope you have a fantastic day/night (or whatever point in your day/week you are currently in) and remember..... smile. If you smile long enough, your brain will agree with it and think the same.... least that's what I get told!! 

Until we meet again.... 
Stay Strong
<3

Mental Health vs Physical Health

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are doing fantastic and if you are from the UK, I hope you have had a lovely Bon Fire Weekend - mine consisted of me and my dog alone at home with him barking ALL evening. He isn't a fan of fireworks! 

Today, let's open up a topic that just isn't talked about all that much and has a huge stigma around it all. Mental health. It is one of those topics people just try and avoid talking about. And I can understand why, I mean it can be a very person subject and we instantly become very shut off and uncomfortable. It means talking about things we didn't want to. It brings up instant emotions. Everyone at some point in their life will know someone who has mental health issues so even if it isn't them who are suffering with it when a conversation comes up, they'll most likely know someone who is.

Mental health problems can often be part of a chain and can stem from many different things and completely varies between people (as with most health conditions.... it is what keeps doctors on their toes :) ). It could be from 1 thing or a few things or could just be one of those things. One thing it is often closely related and linked to is Chronic/Physical Illnesses. Let's start simple and break this does. Now, close your eyes (well maybe don't because then you can't read this unless you are magical... then you are pretty awesome), imagine back to the last time  you were sick and stuck in bed unable to move or function... how did you feel? Pretty darn crappy right?! Now... imagine that feeling and illness you had lasting for the rest of your life - oh and add in all the hospital trips & stays, test, accusations and life changing as you knew it. You'd get pretty low, fed up and lonely. You'd end up getting all these insecurities that you've never had before with life changes that are completely out of your control. You'd get all these new feelings that would effect you is so many ways you didn't realise were possible. And suddenly, before your very eyes, not only are you battling a chronic physical illness, but you now are also battling a mental illness. And just like that, you find your link between mental & physical health. (and breathe.... my fingers and mind were working so fast then... it all just oozed out my mind like jam does out a donut.... oo now I want a donut darn it haha!). Mental and physical health is not something to be joked around about though. It has massive life impacts.


It can work the other way as well. For example, let's say you have a mental health issue that  causes you to do things such as; stop yourself eating, make yourself throw up, overdose, self harm and many other things. Al those things can take its toll on your insides even if you can't see it and it can end up causing permanent physical issues due to the damage done to your insides. They are so closely linked (just like peanut butter and jelly/jam - oo now I want a PB&J sandwich.. dear oh dear) because well...... everything in your body is connected and so what happens to one part of your body can and will have an impact on all your other parts. It is like one big game of dot to dot.

So, next time you question someone's feelings or reasons for doing something or reacting a certain way, remember that just because they have been diagnose with either a physical or mental health condition, doesn't mean that they are doing it on purpose and that they are faking it or looking for attention and sympathy or thinks it would be cool and glamorous. You never know what battles other people are fighting or will end up fighting because of something else they are fighting or even because of what you or someone else says to them. Not everything is visible or said out loud. Many people choose to hide illnesses the best they can for whatever reason they feel. Sometimes people don't tell you because they are scared what you will say. Many illnesses be if physical or mental just aren't talked about. They are often topics that people make a stigma around and decide it shouldn't be discussed or make people feel bad for having it. That shouldn't be the case. All illnesses should be equal and shared. We are in the 21st century now people.... come on. 

I have no idea if any of this makes sense or has a point, but as with all my blog posts (and videos - matching one for this post on my channel now), I just type what is on my mind and hope for the best :)!! But seriously, please remember that every action causes a reaction and every physical chronic illness can (and often does) cause a mental illness and every mental illness can (and often will) cause a physical chronic illness. It is like one big science experiment! 

Well, that is all for this post. I would really love if everyone can start up a conversation about this and help support those who need it. Spread the love.

Stay Strong
<3

Are They A True Friend?

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are all doing fantastically well today. 

Recently someone close to me told me how they were feeling lonely, down and left out with their friends. They told me how they had taken to Tinder to try find a boy so that they didn't feel alone anymore and that they might be able to hang out with their friends again with that boy. Now whilst I don't have anything against Tinder.... I don't believe in having to change yourself or have a boyfriend/girlfriend or do stuff to please others so that you feel more included and get invites to hang out etc..

Over the years we all change as a person... and that is a really good process - and normal. So, with that in mind there is no surprise that we change our friends and the people we want to surround ourselves with because we get on better with them and have the same morals and values etc. It is okay to change friends... just because you met them in school or when you were an itsy bitsy kid doesn't mean you are stuck with them for life. It only takes one person to make you feel less alone in this massive world be it a partner or friend. No matter what is going on in their life, if they care about you and want you in their life they will make time for you. Having a boyfriend or a busy job is no excuse because we as people have a choice to do what we want and see who we want. 

There is a quote that I always see floating around that says 'Anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storm is where you find out who truly cares', and it is so true. Friendships/relationships aren't about being there for all the good times in one another's lives, it is about being there when it is not so convenient to be there because things are harder and not so great. We don't lose friends in life... we simply find out who our true friends are. We shouldn't have to change ourselves or hide the hard things in our lives from

them or do things we don't want to do just to feel included or wanted or less alone. We should be able to be ourselves ... because being yourself is the most beautiful thing. If we were all the exact same life would be so boring and we probably wouldn't be all that happy. We are all different and therefore get on better with different people. Being different is awesome and we have to accept that. At school I would think that I needed to be like the 'popular, pretty girl' because I thought that would get me more friends and make me happy. Did it? NOPE..... for the short time I was friendly with that girl, I couldn't be myself because our personalities were so different and the 'friends' that came with that didn't make me feel any less alone... in fact I probably felt more alone because I just didn't fit in with that. We don't need 100 friends or the same friends as we've had for years ... we only need 1 person to feel less alone, accepted and happy. 

In school we have no choice but to be around certain people all day everyday which is why we don't talk to even half the people we used to once we leave. Once we leave school (or anywhere.. work... activities.. anything), we get to choose who we hang out with and we get to see who we genuinely get on well with and more importantly, who GENUINELY wants us in their lives and is there for us no matter what life throws at us. Just because they now have a boyfriend, does that mean they now don't ever want to hang with you because they're with them? Just because they got some new job, does that mean they don't want to know you? No! Change is scary but so rewarding.

So, if you feel alone, go make new BETTER...REAL friends. Be yourself and you'll make friends who love you for you and will bet there no matter what. Real friends can make good days better and bad days less hard and still make you laugh even when you just don't want to. A friend tells you what they think you want to hear, a true friend tells you how it is and then helps make it better. Life is a rollercoaster and no matter how amazing our lives are, we will still experience hard times and we are able to choose who we surround ourselves with to make us happy and help us get through the hard times... they shouldn't be the ones putting us through the hard times though. Don't get me wrong, no relationship is perfect and all has the tough times... but the ones that pull through it and are stronger for it will go so much further. Remember to always communicate with people about how you feel.

Remember, you do you because that is the most beautiful thing ever and by being you, you will find people to surround yourself with that make you feel less alone in this huge world and who will help us through the hard times. Never change yourself or pretend to be someone else to feel accepted. I know it is hard especially with the media these days... but honestly, you will be sooooo much happier.

Have you ever experienced this or know someone who did? Let's support one another and spread some love. Check out my social media and let's all chat and help each other to feel happy and less alone. Lets encourage people to be themselves and no-one else! I also made a video on this so go head over to my Youtube channel if you fancy watching that... or anything else! www.youtube.com/thedramaqueensoph

Have a lovely day and I shall speak to you all soon :) 
Stay Strong
<3

Staying Motivated & Inspired By....

Hey Everyone

I hope you are all doing well?

Over the years I have had my fair share of highs & lows.... I mean who hasn't right? The thing with life is something that happens or something you do today can and probably will effect you tomorrow and even many years later. I am slowly learning that we can choose to either let them get us down and we can make excuses to not do something OR we can use them to motivate us to do better, work harder and spread love and positivity. Don't get me wrong, I am not miss positive all of the time (or most the time for that reason) and I go through many patches where I 'm quite the opposite. Ask my family.... I am sure they'd happily vouch for that. BUT I have noticed that when I do certain things like watch youtube videos of whatever takes my fancy that day, it effects me in ho I am thinking. It is kind of the same thing as surrounding yourself by positive people and you will have a positive mind. The way they spread love, support & positivity just makes you feel so much more confident and not alone. Their work ethic and just life values really inspires me. 


I'm not writing this to sound like a weirdo stalker or obsessed person but to share with you things/people that really genuinely help me get through life in their own way and helps me stay motivated and inspired which, in a world that has a lot of negativity these days is something special. I swear... I'm normal... okay well not normal but not a weirdo either hehe :) 

The 4 people that really inspire me are Demi Lovato, Lilly Singh (iisuperwomanii), Zoe Sugg (Zoella) and my very special mum. Whether it be their music, videos, cuddles, positivity, girl love or support, that is what keeps me going and fighting obstacles thrown at me. I may not know 3 of them in real life (though I should be so lucky to even meet any of them let alone be able to call them a friend) but the way they are using their voice for good is what makes them relatable.

I recently watched Lilly's 'A Trip To Unicorn Island' movie, and honestly.... I felt so overwhelmed with motivation to work harder for what I want and positivity and love.I felt so blooming inspired after ... like just wow. The way she does stuff to help others expecting absolutely nothing back in return but working towards her goal just as hard.
Demi Lovato has overcome so much and has then used that to help so many others instead of giving up. Without her music be it the sad songs or the upbeat songs that make you feel confident and motivated... I wouldn't have got through many of my rough days and nights. Let's be honest we all have those times we just want to curl up in a ball on our bed, headphones on away from the world :)! It is like a way to let everything out in a healthy way by just listening (or shower singing) to the lyrics of the song and being able to fit it in to whatever it is going on in your life. I read one of her quotes and goals every morning before I start my day from her Staying Strong book which helps me start my day off well!
When my anxiety is high, Zoe's videos help me and remind me I'm not alone or crazy and can't still live my life achieving anything my heart desires. It shall not

defeat me!! There will be bad days but there will be even more good days.

And my mum (my dad too but I mean a mother daughter relationship is something special) - without her love and support I would most certainly have no motivation to fight or even go to doctors appointments. Sometimes a mummy cuddle is just the medicine needed. If and when I one day have kid(s).... I can only dream of being half the mum she is. The way she puts everyone else before her, the kindness... the list is endless honestly. I can't imagine not having her around to support me and love. Money and objects are just that.... objects. They aren't what truly makes you happy.... having even just one person there who you know has you back and best interests at heart no matter what is what warms your heart!! 
I also have one friend in particular (shh.... secret 5th person) that is there for me through thick and thin and always makes me feel good about myself. She reminds me that I can do whatever I want and anyone who puts me down or takes things out on me constantly just isn't worth the upset or the frustration because it is my life and I am in control of who I keep in it with me. With out her I would never laugh the way I do nor would I feel loved by anyone aside from family. 

All 4 of them have their messages of working hard for anything you want and believe in because it won't just fall on your lap, treating others well because even just a smile can change someone's entire day but most importantly, you do you because that's what we all do best... believe in yourself and love yourself. There are always going to be bad days and the truth is.... not everyone will like you, but that is okay and well... life!! You can never please everyone so as long as you are doing things that you truly believe in and are happy with.... go and blooming do it!! I definitely feel like I am beginning to find myself and what I want to do in life. Even things like filming certain youtube videos just because that is what everyone else is doing.... no Sophie - film what you believe in and are passionate about and it will shine through and you will be so much more content. It goes with everything in life.... don't just do something because that is what someone else is doing .... if you don't really want that you won't be content. So cheesy but would you jump off a cliff just because that's what those other people over there are doing? I very much doubt it!! 

I could literally go on forever but I won't bore you. I just wanted to share some things that have really inspired and motivated me helping me get through life and start achieving things I genuinely am happy with. I wanted to share some love and positivity and remind you that you are awesome.... I have definitely be thinking and seeing things in a very different way lately and even believe in myself a little more. 


You can choose to be happy and you CAN do absolutely anything you set your mind to ... with hard work and passion. Share the love... we should be celebrating people's success and not putting them down through jealousy or hate. 

Okay I'll shut up now.... 

Have a lovely day and remember.... You Can!! 

Stay Strong
<3

What is PoTS?

Hey Everyone

I hope you are all having a good day :) 

October is PoTS awareness month and is one of (the many) chronic conditions I have. So... I thought it only right to help raise awareness about what the condition is and help make those who have the condition feel a little less alone.... because it can feel lonely at times! I have made a matching video for this so if you are more of a watcher than reader there is that option too :) 

What is PoTS?
PoTS stands for 'Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome'.... quite the mouthful right? 
Normally when you do things like sit up or stand up gravity pulls some of your blood to places like your feet, hands and belly. This then causes the blood vessels to quickly narrow and your heart rate increases slightly to maintain blood flow to your heart and brain so that your blood pressure doesn't drop which is always helpful! All of this is done by what is called your 'Autonomic Nervous System' without even having to think.
In PoTS, your autonomic nervous system basically....doesn't work properly. You end up having a drop in your blood supply to your heart and brain when you become upright and your heart then races to compensate. Basically your body just doesn't like to be upright!

BUT..... as with any chronic illness or any illness for that matter, all this comes with some not so nice symptoms which I won't lie .... SUCKS!

Symptoms can include;
- Dizziness                                                     - Headaches                
- Lightheadedness                                         - Insomnia
- Fainting                                                        - Chest Pain
- High Blood Pressure                                    - Nausea
- Heart Palpitations                                         - Shortness of breath
- Shaking                                                        - Brain Fog
- Sweating                                                      - Skin Discolouration
- Fatigue/ Weakness                                      - Anxiety


Obviously as with any illness everyone gets different symptoms to different degrees. And everyday is different!

There are a few things that have been said and I personally can vouch for that aggravate symptoms making them worse. Things such as heat, eating, exercise and being on your period (seriously... boys have no idea how lucky they are to not have periods).

{I also included some of other peoples symptoms and triggers on my video so it wasn't just from my point of view so click HERE to go watch that}

We have also learnt that many symptoms you get with PoTS overlap with conditions like EDS and well..... many others. So just because you have these symptoms doesn't definitely mean you have PoTS.

How is it diagnosed?
There are a few different ways to diagnose PoTS. One thing I will say is that PoTS can often be mis-diagnosed as anxiety and panic attacks and that is if you find a doctor that even believes you to start with.
PoTS is diagnosed if your heart rate increases by around 30 beats per minute after standing or if it increases to more than 120bpm... or there abouts anyway.
You may have one or more tests to help diagnose the condition and they could be ones such as: 

• The Tilt Table Test: (This one is probably the worst one) It is where your heart rates and blood pressure are measured while laying on a bed, and then the bed is titled into a more upright position while more measurements are taken.
• The Active Stand Test: This is where your heart rate and blood pressure are measured after lying down, immediately upon standing and after 2, 5 and 10 minutes.
• An Electrocardiogram (ECG): This is a test of your heart's electrical activity.
• An Echocardiogram: This is an ultrasound scan of your heart.
• A 24 Hour Blood Pressure & Heart Rate Monitoring: Small devices are attached to your belt to then be able to take regular readings of your blood pressure and heart rate whilst you're doing you're normal activities.
• Blood Tests: These are to test your kidney, liver and thyroid function as well as measure your blood count, calcium and glucose levels.

Reducing/Controlling your symptoms:

Whilst everyday is going to be different to the last and what works one day totally doesn't the following day, there are a few things that can help reduce and control some of your symptoms.

The one I personally find the most effective is drinking plenty of fluids and making sure I stay hydrated. We are all guilty of just forgetting to drink throughout the day but it really does make a difference.

Another one I find really effective is keeping active. I don't mean do exercise until you pass out... you need to pick what works best for you and it is a little bit of trial and error. It can be things like a walk, pilates, swimming or doing something more strenuous if you're able to. Keeping active helps maintain better circulation which in turn helps keep a better blood pressure and heart rate. It also helps mentally! Double whammy :) 

I haven't personally tried this one yet but wearing tight compression socks (kinda like what you're given on a plane) as these help improve your blood flow in your legs meaning your legs share some of that blood with your brain or heart... yay!

Super tricky in life sometimes but where possible avoid standing for long periods of time and when you come up from lying down or sitting down.... do it slowly!!!! Trust me.... it really doesn't feel very good if you do it too fast. 

In terms of foods and drinks, avoid driving lots of alcohol or caffeine and include more salt in your diet (unless you have high blood pressure or heart disease.... then have less salt!).

There aren't however any medications licensed for treating PoTS however your specialist might suggest trying a "off label" medication like Midodrine or a Beta Blocker/Ivabradine. This means it hasn't undergone clinical trials but is believed to be effective.

What causes PoTS?

In many cases the cause of the problem is unknown.... typical right?

In other cases there are some known causes and things that are very closely linked hand in hand. Some of the known causes are:

- Joint hypermobility syndrome / EDS : this is a condition where the "glue" that holds your body together basically doesn't do its job. It results in unusually flexible joints and abnormally elastic blood vessels. - I have done a full blog post on this condition so click HERE if you would like to head over there to learn about that. I've also made a video on that over on my youtube channel!!

- Underlying Conditions such as diabetes, lupus, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and a few others.

- Poisoning with alcohol or certain metals

- Viral Infections - the good old one doctors like to say and sadly is true is that viruses can unfortunately sometimes cause nasty after affects and problems

- Inheriting a faulty gene that causes too much of the "fight or flight" hormone noradrenaline to be produced

I am not a trained doctor (though I actually feel like I would really enjoy it) so if you think you might have PoTS or something similar please go to a specialist and ask for advice.

Having any chronic illness can have a massive impact on your mental health along with a ton of other things. It can feel super lonely at times or even make you feel like a crazy person. Please remember you are not alone and most certainly NOT crazy!!! I completely understand how you feel as does millions of others in one way or another. You are stronger than you think and you most certainly can beat your body and still achieve things you want to. Remember... losing is not an option!! :) We are in it together and if we stick together, spread love and awareness and help one another.... we can and will achieve absolutely ANYTHING! 

I really hope this helps you understand a little bit more about what the condition is and all the things that go with it. Remember, it might take a few seconds to share a post about it but people with the condition experience these symptoms every single day all day and night.... we need more research to be done to find ways to manage this condition. So ... please please please share this post and help spread awareness about PoTS..... Just because it is an invisible illness and you can't physically see it does NOT mean it is not there or not real!! 

That is everything for this post so all that is left to say is have a lovely day and remember to smile :) 

Stay Strong

<3

Words Can Hurt!

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are all doing well.

Today I wanted to discuss something that is a much talked about subject. We all know that words we say to others can really affect them in many ways and it is no different for chronic illness sufferers... we are still human (or bionic if you're like me and have a pacemaker hehe) and we still get hurt by words and ways people treat us. 

Here's the thing, I spend A LOT of time at various hospital appointments to the point where I have at least one almost every week for months straight. It is exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally - especially when you don't see much or any improvement in health or quality of life. I go to these appointments and tests to try improve my quality of life and to be able to try get to a point where I can live some what of a 'normal' life. That being said, in trying to improve my health and getting a life, I spend my life back and forth to doctors appointments and having to have a ton of days off work (which makes me terrified to lose 

my job if they get that fed up with the amount of time i require off) and not having a life! Now if I was seeing major improvements and things coming out of all these tests then it would be so bad, but, when things for the most part don't improve and nothing changes from all the drug trials and appointments and tests..... how would you feel? Would you feel like you are making the most of your life or wasting your life? I know it only takes that one test, or one doctor or one medication that could be 'the one' that makes my health better to improve my life but how many years am I supposed to keep going to appointment after appointment in the hope of improving my quality of life before I give up and just make the best of what I can or before I accept that doctors just don't have anything they can do to help? 

I always get anxious about asking for days off every 5 minutes for more doctors appointments as I don't want to lose my job. Sure it is not the job I've dreamt about and probably won't do it for the rest of my life but it still really bothers me for a few reasons. Firstly, holding down a job is my way of living a 'normal' life like healthier people. Secondly, it is a way to distract my mind from everything going on with my health as if I were to sit at home everyday I would go insane and just become depressed because of it and let my health completely ruin my life. Thirdly, like everyone, I need the money to be able to live and do things I want to. Everyone always tells me I need to think of my health and what my body needs more and that it is more important than a job, and whilst that is true in my mind as a chronic illness sufferer with illnesses I know I have for life and illnesses doctors just don't know enough about and realistically don't know what to do so they palm you off with tests and onto other doctors who do the same. I know that doctors appointments aren't going to end. It's not like an infection or an illness where you go to a few appointments have some antibiotics or medication and bish bash bosh the appointments are over and you can go back to normal. But... imagine having to do that for mostly likely the rest of your life. Imagine constantly having to let people down because a last minute appointment has come through. Having a full time job which you agreed you could work and then needing to do a 3 or 4 days week each week because of appointments.... are you seriously going to think about your health coming first each time OR are you going to get stressed about trying to keep a job because you know this illness for life and there are always going to be more appointments and which eventually is most likely to cause a problem with your manager because of the amount of time you need off and what they need for their business. Although they can't legally they can't sack you due to your health, they can make your life difficult until they manage to push you out by you quitting in which case your life is made more difficult and ends up in a horrible cycle which means more stress and in turn means your health is affected and deteriorates because of it making you more unwell that you were to start with.

If I were to lose my job because my health, not only would I suffer financially but more so emotionally and mentally because to me that is about the most normal thing I can do to feel like my health isn't completely taking over my life. So to me, when I get upset about appointments and more tests and more time off work and someone tells me 'well if you don't go to these appointments you won't have a life because you won't get better' I get so many emotions rushing through me that causes me to then snap. I get where they're coming from but it makes me so frustrated and sad and mad because all it feels like to me is I am spending my life going to drs to make my life better when in actually fact I am having no life because that is all I am doing with it. Can you see where I am coming from? Like how long do I keep going in the hope that something will help when in the 5 years this has been going on barely anything has been done with the test results and if it has, the majority of what has been tried hasn't worked and sometimes even caused worse symptoms because of side affects. It is easy to say to someone it only takes the one tablet or one doctor but when it is an on going thing and next to nothing is helping it isn't so easy to keep doing.

Everywhere I go or a lot of people I speak to who complain about life or health and how something is affecting it can really get to me at times. For example, I over heard a conversation someone had earlier today about their broken arm (which was operated on) and how having to go back and forth to the fracture clinic for the next 3 months is so frustrating and so inconvenient with work and life... now imagine having to go back and forth to hospitals and being prodded and poked for the rest of your life with the majority of those appointments really not doing much. It really frustrates me and I know we don't appreciate things or understand things until we experience them or lose them but I just don't understand why people feel the need to get wound up by my mindset or mood or nasty when I get upset by things life the millions of appointments. I'm 24 years old, I should be going out in the evenings after work and having the weekends to have fun but instead I am just schlepping from one appointment to the other and then being too exhausted for anything and in turn having no life. 

Sorry for this rant but it is something that has been on my mind for so long. Don't judge someone or be nasty to them or tell them they are being stupid when you haven't walked in their shoes. And that goes for anything, not just when it comes to chronic illnesses. Just like when people say people who commit suicide are selfish.... no.... they are not. They are in such a low place and state of mind and are dealing with an illness at the end of the day. You 

don't understand and may not agree with the thought process they are having as an outsider because you haven't experience it, you obviously haven't been in a place where you mentally, physically and emotionally just can't cope any more and can't see things ever getting better no matter what you try or who you have around you. You wouldn't tell a terminally ill cancer patient who decides against treatment so they can enjoy the life they have left to the best they can without the constant hospital trips and medication side affects. So why is it any different for other illnesses? Why can't people accept the sufferers feelings and thought process and frustrating without saying they are being stupid as it only takes one doctor or medicine even if it is 10 years down the line?


Please just understand that all of these physical problems cause so many more mental and emotional issues of which you can't see and can't truly understand unless you have gone through the same or similar. 
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject so please leave them in the comments below or on any of my social media (click on the word for the place you want to magically appear to join the conversation - Facebook - Instagram - Twitter)

That's all for now .... Have a wonderful day, evening or sleep where ever in the world you are (and whatever time is is obviously).

Stay Stron 
<3

What is important in life?

Hey Everyone
How are you all doing?

The last few months have been exceptionally hard for me. My body has really just given up on me and landed me in hospital twice in one weekend by ambulance (even got the sirens going). It has really made me stop and think about what is and isn't important in life and how un-be-lieve-ably lucky I am to have the most amazing and supportive family. So many times recently I have wanted to just give up on life and give up fighting. I have hated on life so much it is unreal. I have even turned round to my parents and said I can't do it anymore. The only reason I have done and still am fighting is for my parents, brother & sister. It sounds so extreme and sounds depressing or weak or harsh to say but it is the truth. I've always said that I am honest on here and use this as a venting place so that is what I am doing.

People always say that if you have a roof over your head and good health then life is good and you're lucky but the truth is having someone or people there for you through thick and thin is better than any physical item. I know that my family are there for me no matter what. We all say things we don't mean to each other and we all yell and call each other names but at the end of the day we love each other. I feel incredibly lucky to have the support system that I do and to have people there for me because if I didn't, I honestly don't know what I would do or what I would fight for in life....

We all love our gadgets and love to spend our money on the newest make up or fashion trend and that's great.. but when push comes to shove, is that new lipstick going to help you through a tough time or help give you advice or the strength you need to push through when you're all out of strength. It really is true when they say money can't buy happiness. You can have all the money in the world but that doesn't mean you are going to get the support you need to get through the things money can't change. Now, I may not be happy currently or even enjoying life, I may do a bit of retail therapy and feel better momentarily but what truly keeps me going is my family. They give me strength when I don't have any left. They give me something that is worth fighting for. The keep me calm when all I feel like I am going to do is go into complete overdrive, panic scream mode!

Sorry if this is upsetting to some, but I want to be honest... for myself and others. I told my parents recently that I wish the ambulance man didn't help me and basically let me die. Quite honestly, it is how I feel lately since my health has really spiralled to a rock bottom I didn't know existed. I've faced some of the hardest things and felt the worst I have before and can't see the ending or white light to this all. I can't see my health ever improving letting me lead my life in a way I wish to do it rather than being stuck in bed. Now, I am saying this because, I always read or hear people talking about how people who kill themselves or don't want to live their life are selfish and it makes me mad. I know when I said that to my parents, I wasn't saying it from a selfish place I was saying it from a place where my head isn't thinking straight and depressed some may say. Both of which isn't a selfish thing. So then, when I think about those people who don't have an amazing family or support system around them, it makes me realise I have more than I think in life to live for and my health is just a big obstacle where adjustments will need making.

I wish I could be there for everyone out there who doesn't have someone... who is dealing with whatever it is they are dealing with alone. I don't know that I'd be able to do it. So, I want to start this post off and have people allow and support and help one another. Show people that they do have someone who is there for them and willing to listen and support them through their tough time be it health, school, work or just life! You are NOT alone. I would love for you to send me messages on Facebook, Twitter, on here or on Youtube and we can start a support group or anyone wherever they are in the world. (might even give you a laugh whilst you're on my youtube :)). Together we can get each other through it.

I feel incredibly lucky and grateful to have my amazing amazing parents and siblings. I may not have good health, or live in the country of my dreams, or have the job I always dreamed of as a little girl.... but I have them and I love them so much and would do anything for them - even if that means fighting for a life that right now I am not so keen on... but who knows - the future hasn't been written yet and what we do today creates tomorrow and the rest of our lives.

Sorry for the rambley post and sorry there isn't even all that much structure, I just felt the need to vent and remind myself how freaking lucky I am to have what I have. In sickness and in health..... that applies for marriages, friendships, when you have kids.... anything...
And if someone can't or won't take you when you are at your worst or when you are sick.... they sure as hell don't deserve to be around when you are happy or doing well!! Support works all ways and can be the most powerful thing in life... even more so than any medication.

Lets support each other.... and together we shall conquer the world!!

Stay Strong
<3

That's What Makes You Happy

Happy Sunday Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the long bank holiday (if you're in the UK)!
Sorry in advance that this is a little long but it is worth the read... I promise.

Over the years I've had periods of time where I have been extremely low and periods of time where I have been happy with life. I've had different definitions of what I feel makes me feel happy and sometimes have even felt low because I thought I could never be happy because of my extremely poor health. I've been so low that doctors, friends, family and work colleagues have notice and mentioned about it and the 'd' word ('depression') has been used on more than one occasion.

Before my poor health properly kicked in (and after tough years in school from bullies) I was enjoying life... I had great friends, great family, was enjoying college (never saw home I was out so much), loving living my dream of acting and then had the most amazing, life changing experience when I did Camp America. Sure, life wasn't perfect and I wasn't living my ultimate dream of living in America acting in movies and tv shows but I was enjoying life, had great people around me and experiencing a ton of things. My life then got turned upside down and it felt like I lost everything. I thought I'd lost all my friends and lost all hope of being in the entertainment industry and that my life was over. I felt like I would never eat again and was praying my life would just end (sorry if that's a lot to read). Nothing I was doing every went the way I wanted it to go and I just couldn't see myself every getting through it. I didn't want help from anyone and didn't want to go out or see anyone. I was finding ways to get through it and release all this negative energy in ways that just weren't healthy which I have never really gone into with anyone. I completely lost my way!

Over the past 6/7 months, my health took an even bigger turn for the worse and even more symptoms and conditions came to light. Once again, my negative mind set hit even further down that rock bottom. However, more recently, even though my health is still shitty (mind my french - sorry mum) I'm seeing things in a very different way. I'm managing to turn my negative thoughts into more positive ones, wanting to talk to people a little more and am beginning to find my way again. Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I want to curl up and not see or hear anyone - it is an on going thing. Nothing worth it is easy in life or happens over night.
I always had this vision that I would only ever truly be happy if everything was perfect and my health and body was in perfect shape. I became self conscious and felt down about things I've never felt like that about before. We see this image in Hollywood or even people around us who are all smiles and seem so happy with their (what we think is) perfect lives and if ours don't match that ours can't be. I would only ever see the negative in everything and was rolling out of bed not wanting to face the world.

There are all type of videos on the interweb... some extremely uplifting and inspiring and some that are ... well.... interesting lets just say. I became really inspired by the journey of a few youtubers in particular along with certain 'celebrities'. People who know me will know my absolute idol and favourite singer/actress ever is Demi Lovato. Between her, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Marissa Lace and Claudia Sulewski, something triggered in my head. They taught me that happiness comes from within. If you don't love you how can you expect someone else to? If you don't help look after yourself why should anyone else put their energy in trying to help you? If you take control of you life... how can you expect it to magically happen the way you want it? No amount of money can buy true happiness that will last.....

All the people above (and others of course) have said that happiness starts from within and that positive vibes bring in positive things. Everything we go through teaches us a lesson in one way or another and happens at a time where we are tested. Looking after yourself and seeing things in a positive way can really truly make a difference. These are the main points that I have been trying to

incorporate into my life:

• Making time for me every day.
• Starting the day by reading a page of my Stay Strong book that gives me an objective for the day to think about.
• Doing something about one thing that bothers me and trying to find ways to achieve things I dream of doing and not letting anything make me believe it isn't possible.
• Including some form of exercise or body condition every morning before starting the day (even just 2 minutes)
• Be more aware about what I put into my body
• Cutting people out my life who don't make me happy or bring positivity in my life
• Appreciating who and what I do have in life
• Remembering that being kind/friendly to everyone be it a friend, family or stranger can really change the way their week is going or even their day. - even just a simple hello how are you.
• Setting myself a goal/s that I know a practical and can be achieved with hard work
• Remember that everyone is growing through their own insecurities and difficulties that you can never truly understand but a simple hey or how are you can help them through the day. Being nice goes a long way

Regardless of how happy a person you are, some days are just harder but I have honestly noticed a huge difference just by doing the above 10 things and so have others around me. Don't get me wrong, I still have negative thoughts at times and let things get on top of me but I feel so much happier and have started seeing a future again. My little morning routine sets me up for a much better day. If you make an effort to turn the negative into a positive it starts to become more natural to think positively or at least have start thinking about both. Everyone is differently obviously but here is a quick break down of what I have been doing that has really been helping me to be in a much better place;

I get up in the morning, take my medicine and read that days page of my Demi Lovato 'Stay Strong' book that has different inspiring and encourages for each day. Once I have done that and been to the loo and all that jazz, I do a minute or two of mixed types of planks. Now although it is only a couple of minutes, it makes me feel like I am doing something good for my body. I then try and pick out healthier small snacks for the day rather than just chocolate and crisps (they're still included though duh) that I can keep myself going for the day. Once I have done that I then get myself dressed and ready for the day. I've started trying to turn negative things or things I thought were horrible into positive things and ways that they are a positive thing. Although none of these are major things, together they all work together to have some positive structure to my own life. 

In doing this, I have started feeling a passion about things I had lost passion for or had given up on. It has shown me that everything can be changed when we put our mind to it. Happiness isn't about having the perfect figure, or perfect health and a ton of friends with a huge pay check each month. Happiness comes from what we make of life. If we don't make an effort to work towards what our heart desires and how we choose to make our life. If we have people around us who put us down all the time, how can you ever feel good about things? How you wake up and start your day is what sets up the rest of the day. We will never be able to make everyone else happy with what we do, but as long as we make ourselves happy.... who cares!

I've started looking into things that I want to achieve and experience in the future and begun to find me again. I've learnt who my true friends are and to be honest, I wouldn't even say I lost any friends in the process, I've just found out who were actually friends and who was there for good times and for them. The mind is a very powerful thing. What is the point of just existing? Why earn money just to live when you can earn it to experience things that will make you never want life to end and make you love it and smile. A smile is priceless!!

I'd love to hear the things you do and what things you would say are what really makes you happy.

Have a great day

Stay Strong

<3