Never Be Afraid To Voice YOUR Opinion

Hey Hey 

How you doing? I hope you are having a great day and if it hasn't been great just remember to smile and push on through. 

Today I wanted to vent out something that's on my mind. I've come to realise that a lot of the time arguments happen for one of three reasons (besides that awkward one that just wants to be different). The first one is just simply lack of communication. Be it because it all stemmed from a rumour going round that wasn't actually discussed before yelling or someone is just too quick to start an argument with out talking or listening to the other person first. I feel like this one happens a lot and part of me thinks it is due to how we see the world around us. We are all guilty of judging someone or something too fast... don't even try deny it because it is true. We also are too quick to expect the worst in people which I think is partly to do with all the wars and negative things we see in the world be it something we see/ experience in person or something we see through social media. Social media can be a great great thing at times and can really help people but it can also cause brain washing to occur. We are almost taught to expect the worst from people (people we don't know in particular) and that then means that we've made our minds up what someone else is going to say or do before actually giving them a chance which then means an argument is started for absolutely no reason... but once you commit to an argument - I mean - you're committed right? Well technically no but for some people that is the case.

Another big reason for arguments is this thing people have in their head of 'I am right, how I view and think of things is more important than how you view/think of things'. I think it is safe to say I have experienced this one a fair few times particularly over the past few years. Don't get me wrong, I feel like this is another one that we are all guilty of at some point in our lives until we can accept that every single person in life is going to have a different opinion on absolutely everything because that is just life... our brains are all programmed differently and we have all experienced and seen different things that will cause us to have different views or feelings about certain situations. I've learnt recently that it is okay to have different views and almost agree to disagree and to accept that I have a different perspective on something. I am someone who doesn't like confrontation, it makes me so uncomfortable and I've always been someone who will take a while to snap but once I do .... I do haha! Recently I have really been trying to brush things off and remember that that person has or is experiencing something that caused them to react like that or have that view and that is
ok. It is okay to have your own views and opinions on things. The only thing is, sometimes people forget that and make an argument out of it because they think that their experiences and thoughts are more important or the 'correct' ones. No-ones feelings or views on anything in life are wrong or right..... they're opinions based on experiences and their on morals in life. People have this tendency to need people to agree that they've had a worse experience, or seen worse than you or that they're point of view on that particular topic is how everyone should see it. That's where the arguments start. I know as a chronic illness sufferer I have seen people at some extreme lows physically, mentally emotionally and I have experienced them through my life as well even before all my health. That being said, I never thing I have had it worse than someone else, I simply say and explain that I can understand to some degree. I don't think nope, I'm right in what I think and you have to agree because I've had it worse or what I think is right and that's that. Sometimes though, people do think like that and sometimes it is on a topic that pushes you that bit too far that you can't just brush off because if hurts your feelings when you get accused of stuff because that person doesn't realise that there is no right or wrong, worse or better in that situation it is just simply each person's point of view. It is okay to have different views in absolutely everything in life. I'll stop going on about this one as I realise I've talked about this point quite a lot - it was kind of the reason I decided to write this post if I am honest. 


And for the last reason why arguments happen..... some people are just so damn ignorant and stupid and look for fights because they think it is cool or will make people like them or well.... I don't even know why! They are just stuuuuuupid.

Don't judge a book by its cover or
assume the worst in people

I think the point I am trying to make is that, we all just need to blooming chill the *beep* out. We are all entitled to different opinions and feelings and we shouldn't instantly expect the worse in people whether we know them or not. It is okay to think differently and voice different opinions and experiences. No one person's experience is worse because at the end of the day, each person's best and worst experience is different so how can it mean their's is worse than your worst? Does that even make sense? I know what I am trying to say hahaha (go on girl - being excellent at typing your thoughts as usual)!!! It is the same idea as what one person views as a slutty outfit, another views it as that person being comfortable in their own skin and wearing what they want to and not caring what anyone else thinks because as long as they are comfortable then who is anyone else to tell them otherwise. Just because you have a certain opinion or experience doesn't mean you are any cooler or any better or more important. We are all equal and we are all entitled to opinions and we should never think otherwise. When we feel the urge to fight back at someone for something they have said or accused you of, take a deep breathe and try assess what is causing it to try stop it before it happens. If needs be walk away calmly and talk to the person once you have breathed and brush it off so that you aren't all emotional. We won't be liked by everyone and not everyone will agree with us.... but that's okay. If everyone agreed it would be boring right? ... right? If we just communicate properly and don't assume things..... things would be so much easier :)!! 

Okay.... I think I have vented it all out now! :) 
Let me know in the comments (or on any of my social media outlets) if you've experienced arguments for any of the above reasons or if you recognise these and use that to your advantage in trying to stop arguments. W
I don't know whether this post is helpful or pointless (depends on your opinion I suppose haha) but it was something on my chest and something I wanted to let out ... so.... I did :) 

That's all for today. I hope you have a fantastic day/night (or whatever point in your day/week you are currently in) and remember..... smile. If you smile long enough, your brain will agree with it and think the same.... least that's what I get told!! 

Until we meet again.... 
Stay Strong
<3

Are They A True Friend?

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are all doing fantastically well today. 

Recently someone close to me told me how they were feeling lonely, down and left out with their friends. They told me how they had taken to Tinder to try find a boy so that they didn't feel alone anymore and that they might be able to hang out with their friends again with that boy. Now whilst I don't have anything against Tinder.... I don't believe in having to change yourself or have a boyfriend/girlfriend or do stuff to please others so that you feel more included and get invites to hang out etc..

Over the years we all change as a person... and that is a really good process - and normal. So, with that in mind there is no surprise that we change our friends and the people we want to surround ourselves with because we get on better with them and have the same morals and values etc. It is okay to change friends... just because you met them in school or when you were an itsy bitsy kid doesn't mean you are stuck with them for life. It only takes one person to make you feel less alone in this massive world be it a partner or friend. No matter what is going on in their life, if they care about you and want you in their life they will make time for you. Having a boyfriend or a busy job is no excuse because we as people have a choice to do what we want and see who we want. 

There is a quote that I always see floating around that says 'Anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storm is where you find out who truly cares', and it is so true. Friendships/relationships aren't about being there for all the good times in one another's lives, it is about being there when it is not so convenient to be there because things are harder and not so great. We don't lose friends in life... we simply find out who our true friends are. We shouldn't have to change ourselves or hide the hard things in our lives from

them or do things we don't want to do just to feel included or wanted or less alone. We should be able to be ourselves ... because being yourself is the most beautiful thing. If we were all the exact same life would be so boring and we probably wouldn't be all that happy. We are all different and therefore get on better with different people. Being different is awesome and we have to accept that. At school I would think that I needed to be like the 'popular, pretty girl' because I thought that would get me more friends and make me happy. Did it? NOPE..... for the short time I was friendly with that girl, I couldn't be myself because our personalities were so different and the 'friends' that came with that didn't make me feel any less alone... in fact I probably felt more alone because I just didn't fit in with that. We don't need 100 friends or the same friends as we've had for years ... we only need 1 person to feel less alone, accepted and happy. 

In school we have no choice but to be around certain people all day everyday which is why we don't talk to even half the people we used to once we leave. Once we leave school (or anywhere.. work... activities.. anything), we get to choose who we hang out with and we get to see who we genuinely get on well with and more importantly, who GENUINELY wants us in their lives and is there for us no matter what life throws at us. Just because they now have a boyfriend, does that mean they now don't ever want to hang with you because they're with them? Just because they got some new job, does that mean they don't want to know you? No! Change is scary but so rewarding.

So, if you feel alone, go make new BETTER...REAL friends. Be yourself and you'll make friends who love you for you and will bet there no matter what. Real friends can make good days better and bad days less hard and still make you laugh even when you just don't want to. A friend tells you what they think you want to hear, a true friend tells you how it is and then helps make it better. Life is a rollercoaster and no matter how amazing our lives are, we will still experience hard times and we are able to choose who we surround ourselves with to make us happy and help us get through the hard times... they shouldn't be the ones putting us through the hard times though. Don't get me wrong, no relationship is perfect and all has the tough times... but the ones that pull through it and are stronger for it will go so much further. Remember to always communicate with people about how you feel.

Remember, you do you because that is the most beautiful thing ever and by being you, you will find people to surround yourself with that make you feel less alone in this huge world and who will help us through the hard times. Never change yourself or pretend to be someone else to feel accepted. I know it is hard especially with the media these days... but honestly, you will be sooooo much happier.

Have you ever experienced this or know someone who did? Let's support one another and spread some love. Check out my social media and let's all chat and help each other to feel happy and less alone. Lets encourage people to be themselves and no-one else! I also made a video on this so go head over to my Youtube channel if you fancy watching that... or anything else! www.youtube.com/thedramaqueensoph

Have a lovely day and I shall speak to you all soon :) 
Stay Strong
<3