Are They A True Friend?

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are all doing fantastically well today. 

Recently someone close to me told me how they were feeling lonely, down and left out with their friends. They told me how they had taken to Tinder to try find a boy so that they didn't feel alone anymore and that they might be able to hang out with their friends again with that boy. Now whilst I don't have anything against Tinder.... I don't believe in having to change yourself or have a boyfriend/girlfriend or do stuff to please others so that you feel more included and get invites to hang out etc..

Over the years we all change as a person... and that is a really good process - and normal. So, with that in mind there is no surprise that we change our friends and the people we want to surround ourselves with because we get on better with them and have the same morals and values etc. It is okay to change friends... just because you met them in school or when you were an itsy bitsy kid doesn't mean you are stuck with them for life. It only takes one person to make you feel less alone in this massive world be it a partner or friend. No matter what is going on in their life, if they care about you and want you in their life they will make time for you. Having a boyfriend or a busy job is no excuse because we as people have a choice to do what we want and see who we want. 

There is a quote that I always see floating around that says 'Anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storm is where you find out who truly cares', and it is so true. Friendships/relationships aren't about being there for all the good times in one another's lives, it is about being there when it is not so convenient to be there because things are harder and not so great. We don't lose friends in life... we simply find out who our true friends are. We shouldn't have to change ourselves or hide the hard things in our lives from

them or do things we don't want to do just to feel included or wanted or less alone. We should be able to be ourselves ... because being yourself is the most beautiful thing. If we were all the exact same life would be so boring and we probably wouldn't be all that happy. We are all different and therefore get on better with different people. Being different is awesome and we have to accept that. At school I would think that I needed to be like the 'popular, pretty girl' because I thought that would get me more friends and make me happy. Did it? NOPE..... for the short time I was friendly with that girl, I couldn't be myself because our personalities were so different and the 'friends' that came with that didn't make me feel any less alone... in fact I probably felt more alone because I just didn't fit in with that. We don't need 100 friends or the same friends as we've had for years ... we only need 1 person to feel less alone, accepted and happy. 

In school we have no choice but to be around certain people all day everyday which is why we don't talk to even half the people we used to once we leave. Once we leave school (or anywhere.. work... activities.. anything), we get to choose who we hang out with and we get to see who we genuinely get on well with and more importantly, who GENUINELY wants us in their lives and is there for us no matter what life throws at us. Just because they now have a boyfriend, does that mean they now don't ever want to hang with you because they're with them? Just because they got some new job, does that mean they don't want to know you? No! Change is scary but so rewarding.

So, if you feel alone, go make new BETTER...REAL friends. Be yourself and you'll make friends who love you for you and will bet there no matter what. Real friends can make good days better and bad days less hard and still make you laugh even when you just don't want to. A friend tells you what they think you want to hear, a true friend tells you how it is and then helps make it better. Life is a rollercoaster and no matter how amazing our lives are, we will still experience hard times and we are able to choose who we surround ourselves with to make us happy and help us get through the hard times... they shouldn't be the ones putting us through the hard times though. Don't get me wrong, no relationship is perfect and all has the tough times... but the ones that pull through it and are stronger for it will go so much further. Remember to always communicate with people about how you feel.

Remember, you do you because that is the most beautiful thing ever and by being you, you will find people to surround yourself with that make you feel less alone in this huge world and who will help us through the hard times. Never change yourself or pretend to be someone else to feel accepted. I know it is hard especially with the media these days... but honestly, you will be sooooo much happier.

Have you ever experienced this or know someone who did? Let's support one another and spread some love. Check out my social media and let's all chat and help each other to feel happy and less alone. Lets encourage people to be themselves and no-one else! I also made a video on this so go head over to my Youtube channel if you fancy watching that... or anything else! www.youtube.com/thedramaqueensoph

Have a lovely day and I shall speak to you all soon :) 
Stay Strong
<3

Staying Motivated & Inspired By....

Hey Everyone

I hope you are all doing well?

Over the years I have had my fair share of highs & lows.... I mean who hasn't right? The thing with life is something that happens or something you do today can and probably will effect you tomorrow and even many years later. I am slowly learning that we can choose to either let them get us down and we can make excuses to not do something OR we can use them to motivate us to do better, work harder and spread love and positivity. Don't get me wrong, I am not miss positive all of the time (or most the time for that reason) and I go through many patches where I 'm quite the opposite. Ask my family.... I am sure they'd happily vouch for that. BUT I have noticed that when I do certain things like watch youtube videos of whatever takes my fancy that day, it effects me in ho I am thinking. It is kind of the same thing as surrounding yourself by positive people and you will have a positive mind. The way they spread love, support & positivity just makes you feel so much more confident and not alone. Their work ethic and just life values really inspires me. 


I'm not writing this to sound like a weirdo stalker or obsessed person but to share with you things/people that really genuinely help me get through life in their own way and helps me stay motivated and inspired which, in a world that has a lot of negativity these days is something special. I swear... I'm normal... okay well not normal but not a weirdo either hehe :) 

The 4 people that really inspire me are Demi Lovato, Lilly Singh (iisuperwomanii), Zoe Sugg (Zoella) and my very special mum. Whether it be their music, videos, cuddles, positivity, girl love or support, that is what keeps me going and fighting obstacles thrown at me. I may not know 3 of them in real life (though I should be so lucky to even meet any of them let alone be able to call them a friend) but the way they are using their voice for good is what makes them relatable.

I recently watched Lilly's 'A Trip To Unicorn Island' movie, and honestly.... I felt so overwhelmed with motivation to work harder for what I want and positivity and love.I felt so blooming inspired after ... like just wow. The way she does stuff to help others expecting absolutely nothing back in return but working towards her goal just as hard.
Demi Lovato has overcome so much and has then used that to help so many others instead of giving up. Without her music be it the sad songs or the upbeat songs that make you feel confident and motivated... I wouldn't have got through many of my rough days and nights. Let's be honest we all have those times we just want to curl up in a ball on our bed, headphones on away from the world :)! It is like a way to let everything out in a healthy way by just listening (or shower singing) to the lyrics of the song and being able to fit it in to whatever it is going on in your life. I read one of her quotes and goals every morning before I start my day from her Staying Strong book which helps me start my day off well!
When my anxiety is high, Zoe's videos help me and remind me I'm not alone or crazy and can't still live my life achieving anything my heart desires. It shall not

defeat me!! There will be bad days but there will be even more good days.

And my mum (my dad too but I mean a mother daughter relationship is something special) - without her love and support I would most certainly have no motivation to fight or even go to doctors appointments. Sometimes a mummy cuddle is just the medicine needed. If and when I one day have kid(s).... I can only dream of being half the mum she is. The way she puts everyone else before her, the kindness... the list is endless honestly. I can't imagine not having her around to support me and love. Money and objects are just that.... objects. They aren't what truly makes you happy.... having even just one person there who you know has you back and best interests at heart no matter what is what warms your heart!! 
I also have one friend in particular (shh.... secret 5th person) that is there for me through thick and thin and always makes me feel good about myself. She reminds me that I can do whatever I want and anyone who puts me down or takes things out on me constantly just isn't worth the upset or the frustration because it is my life and I am in control of who I keep in it with me. With out her I would never laugh the way I do nor would I feel loved by anyone aside from family. 

All 4 of them have their messages of working hard for anything you want and believe in because it won't just fall on your lap, treating others well because even just a smile can change someone's entire day but most importantly, you do you because that's what we all do best... believe in yourself and love yourself. There are always going to be bad days and the truth is.... not everyone will like you, but that is okay and well... life!! You can never please everyone so as long as you are doing things that you truly believe in and are happy with.... go and blooming do it!! I definitely feel like I am beginning to find myself and what I want to do in life. Even things like filming certain youtube videos just because that is what everyone else is doing.... no Sophie - film what you believe in and are passionate about and it will shine through and you will be so much more content. It goes with everything in life.... don't just do something because that is what someone else is doing .... if you don't really want that you won't be content. So cheesy but would you jump off a cliff just because that's what those other people over there are doing? I very much doubt it!! 

I could literally go on forever but I won't bore you. I just wanted to share some things that have really inspired and motivated me helping me get through life and start achieving things I genuinely am happy with. I wanted to share some love and positivity and remind you that you are awesome.... I have definitely be thinking and seeing things in a very different way lately and even believe in myself a little more. 


You can choose to be happy and you CAN do absolutely anything you set your mind to ... with hard work and passion. Share the love... we should be celebrating people's success and not putting them down through jealousy or hate. 

Okay I'll shut up now.... 

Have a lovely day and remember.... You Can!! 

Stay Strong
<3

Mentally or Physically Worse?

Hey Everyone,

I hope you are well and having a lovely day.

I thought I would give a little insight into how day to day life has been recently with my health not being at its best (then again when is it?). A lot of people will just see this girl who says she has all these illnesses but still works full time and does cheerleading. I get it.... it must look quite confusing to those who only see my 'I'm okay and well and happy and living life' act that I do everyday to survive in life. Don't get me wrong, I know things could be a lot worse to the point I can't do that but people also don't realise that there is a LOT that they don't see behind closed doors. Don't judge a book by its cover type thing. It is the same with anyone regardless of an illness or not. You see what people choose to let you see and they tell you what they want you to hear. I don't mean people are lying but lets be honest, when someone asks me how I am, they're expecting and want a 'yeah I am good thanks how are you', they don't want a whole conversation about all the fainting, nausea, pain, doctors appointments (and there are a lot), medicine changes etc.... I mean serious though - who's got time for that several times a day? Plus, if you haven't experienced living with a chronic illness you just won't truly understand how I am feeling mentally.

Recently my blood pressure has not been behaving. I have had quite a few pretty nasty episodes over the past couple months with my blood pressure going so high that my body goes into shut down and I literally lose a few days to week of my life because I just don't remember any of it and am just not there. It is horrible. If I am totally honest, as much as it wrecks my body and takes me a fair few days to recover physically, it affects me more mentally. I am so lucky to have some amazing family and friends who stick by me and look after me and yet after them doing literally everything for me for how ever many days whilst I am out of it, I don't remember any of it. I can't say thank you if they have come round to look after me because I don't remember it. I know that they are fully aware I am truly grateful and can't thank them enough but for me I just find it horrible being so unaware. I have the same conversation about something with my mum about 7 times over and still can't remember any of it. I sit talking to my best friend who comes to see me.... and I don't even recall it and have no idea what she is talking about when she mentions it. I know these people don't mind but for me personally.... it really gets to me. Then things like missing half a week or so of work every other week, I know it isn't my fault and they can't say much even if they wanted to but I feel bad. It makes me feel like I am selfish for staying in a full time job but not being able to work full time in reality because of all these sick days (and appointments). Someone else could be doing my job and could be there the whole time that they are needed. I know it may all sound silly but these are the kinds of things that go through my head when something or someone is affected because of me and my mucked up body.

Mental Health Pain is just a
painful as Physical Pain

I've still been having Ketamine injections every 2-3 weeks which are helping with my day time pain but still only taking the edge off after eating. I can't get up and go still! I've also been taken off the Midodrine as they think that could be one thing contributing to my crazy blood pressure. They also slowly want to bring me off all my medications and then reintroduce them slowly and see if I can start cutting any out because my little body can't cope with all the medications I'm being told to take!! Each specialist just keeps adding a new medication on for whatever they are helping with but the problem is, they aren't communicating between one another or taking into account any other medications I am on to ensure it isn't going to cause any unwanted interactions. I get that each specialist is concerned about the part they specialise in but if you think about it, everything in your body is connected. So basically what happens to something in your brain will effect other parts of your body so in reality these doctors really need to be looking at the bigger picture. Not just their puzzle piece. But what do I know.... I'm just the one suffering! I am VERY lucky to have 

my pain specialist that I do because he genuinely cares and only does things that are in my best interest rather than getting me 'better' and shipping me out. Without him I would have had so many A&E and ambulance trips recently. I would be on even more drugs than I am on and potentially some strong pain killers that are going to end up killing me. He always makes time for me and always looks at every part of the body. He is the only one to keep an eye on my blood tests and levels of stuff which is kind of important - least I thought so.


Anyways, that aside, life has been a rollercoaster to say the least (ah that makes me want to go on a rollercoaster... just not sure how my head would deal with that haha). That being said, through all the emotions and physical issues I've been dealing with, I have been inspired and encouraged by people I have never even met. Someone I spoke to ages ago when I first started my blog and my Gastroparesis video and ITV news segment messaged me the other day. It was the day after another one of my horrible episodes that really took its toll on my body and on me mentally. My day was just going so badly... I lost all my motivation I had suddenly gained and felt like giving up. I received this message that was only a paragraph long but it changed my entire day and my entire mind set. It made me realise that I am important and do make a difference in the world and can help people in my own way. I can achieve things and use these horrible obstacles to get me bigger and better places someday.
When we say something to someone we don't know the impact it can have on them. A message from a stranger (well kind of a stranger... I've chatted with her previously but not for ages and never met her) and my day has gone from 'I'm done, I can't do this anymore' to 'I can do this, I am going to do this and going to work hard for what I want and not let people get me down'. She probably had no idea or intention to do that but simply by sending a kind message and spreading love she has for all intense purposes 'saved me'. The thing with mental health is once you get into that spiral..... it is very hard to get back out of and tends to spiral downwards extremely quickly and dramatically. 

Well... anyway, I will leave it there as I'm sure I've taken up enough of your day :)
Just remember, even that small smile and hello can completely change someones mindset, mood and day. Spread love and nothing else... well and awareness about things that matter but you get what I mean!! 

Have a lovely day/evening/week/month and year and I will chat with you again soon.

Stay Strong
<3

What is PoTS?

Hey Everyone

I hope you are all having a good day :) 

October is PoTS awareness month and is one of (the many) chronic conditions I have. So... I thought it only right to help raise awareness about what the condition is and help make those who have the condition feel a little less alone.... because it can feel lonely at times! I have made a matching video for this so if you are more of a watcher than reader there is that option too :) 

What is PoTS?
PoTS stands for 'Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome'.... quite the mouthful right? 
Normally when you do things like sit up or stand up gravity pulls some of your blood to places like your feet, hands and belly. This then causes the blood vessels to quickly narrow and your heart rate increases slightly to maintain blood flow to your heart and brain so that your blood pressure doesn't drop which is always helpful! All of this is done by what is called your 'Autonomic Nervous System' without even having to think.
In PoTS, your autonomic nervous system basically....doesn't work properly. You end up having a drop in your blood supply to your heart and brain when you become upright and your heart then races to compensate. Basically your body just doesn't like to be upright!

BUT..... as with any chronic illness or any illness for that matter, all this comes with some not so nice symptoms which I won't lie .... SUCKS!

Symptoms can include;
- Dizziness                                                     - Headaches                
- Lightheadedness                                         - Insomnia
- Fainting                                                        - Chest Pain
- High Blood Pressure                                    - Nausea
- Heart Palpitations                                         - Shortness of breath
- Shaking                                                        - Brain Fog
- Sweating                                                      - Skin Discolouration
- Fatigue/ Weakness                                      - Anxiety


Obviously as with any illness everyone gets different symptoms to different degrees. And everyday is different!

There are a few things that have been said and I personally can vouch for that aggravate symptoms making them worse. Things such as heat, eating, exercise and being on your period (seriously... boys have no idea how lucky they are to not have periods).

{I also included some of other peoples symptoms and triggers on my video so it wasn't just from my point of view so click HERE to go watch that}

We have also learnt that many symptoms you get with PoTS overlap with conditions like EDS and well..... many others. So just because you have these symptoms doesn't definitely mean you have PoTS.

How is it diagnosed?
There are a few different ways to diagnose PoTS. One thing I will say is that PoTS can often be mis-diagnosed as anxiety and panic attacks and that is if you find a doctor that even believes you to start with.
PoTS is diagnosed if your heart rate increases by around 30 beats per minute after standing or if it increases to more than 120bpm... or there abouts anyway.
You may have one or more tests to help diagnose the condition and they could be ones such as: 

• The Tilt Table Test: (This one is probably the worst one) It is where your heart rates and blood pressure are measured while laying on a bed, and then the bed is titled into a more upright position while more measurements are taken.
• The Active Stand Test: This is where your heart rate and blood pressure are measured after lying down, immediately upon standing and after 2, 5 and 10 minutes.
• An Electrocardiogram (ECG): This is a test of your heart's electrical activity.
• An Echocardiogram: This is an ultrasound scan of your heart.
• A 24 Hour Blood Pressure & Heart Rate Monitoring: Small devices are attached to your belt to then be able to take regular readings of your blood pressure and heart rate whilst you're doing you're normal activities.
• Blood Tests: These are to test your kidney, liver and thyroid function as well as measure your blood count, calcium and glucose levels.

Reducing/Controlling your symptoms:

Whilst everyday is going to be different to the last and what works one day totally doesn't the following day, there are a few things that can help reduce and control some of your symptoms.

The one I personally find the most effective is drinking plenty of fluids and making sure I stay hydrated. We are all guilty of just forgetting to drink throughout the day but it really does make a difference.

Another one I find really effective is keeping active. I don't mean do exercise until you pass out... you need to pick what works best for you and it is a little bit of trial and error. It can be things like a walk, pilates, swimming or doing something more strenuous if you're able to. Keeping active helps maintain better circulation which in turn helps keep a better blood pressure and heart rate. It also helps mentally! Double whammy :) 

I haven't personally tried this one yet but wearing tight compression socks (kinda like what you're given on a plane) as these help improve your blood flow in your legs meaning your legs share some of that blood with your brain or heart... yay!

Super tricky in life sometimes but where possible avoid standing for long periods of time and when you come up from lying down or sitting down.... do it slowly!!!! Trust me.... it really doesn't feel very good if you do it too fast. 

In terms of foods and drinks, avoid driving lots of alcohol or caffeine and include more salt in your diet (unless you have high blood pressure or heart disease.... then have less salt!).

There aren't however any medications licensed for treating PoTS however your specialist might suggest trying a "off label" medication like Midodrine or a Beta Blocker/Ivabradine. This means it hasn't undergone clinical trials but is believed to be effective.

What causes PoTS?

In many cases the cause of the problem is unknown.... typical right?

In other cases there are some known causes and things that are very closely linked hand in hand. Some of the known causes are:

- Joint hypermobility syndrome / EDS : this is a condition where the "glue" that holds your body together basically doesn't do its job. It results in unusually flexible joints and abnormally elastic blood vessels. - I have done a full blog post on this condition so click HERE if you would like to head over there to learn about that. I've also made a video on that over on my youtube channel!!

- Underlying Conditions such as diabetes, lupus, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and a few others.

- Poisoning with alcohol or certain metals

- Viral Infections - the good old one doctors like to say and sadly is true is that viruses can unfortunately sometimes cause nasty after affects and problems

- Inheriting a faulty gene that causes too much of the "fight or flight" hormone noradrenaline to be produced

I am not a trained doctor (though I actually feel like I would really enjoy it) so if you think you might have PoTS or something similar please go to a specialist and ask for advice.

Having any chronic illness can have a massive impact on your mental health along with a ton of other things. It can feel super lonely at times or even make you feel like a crazy person. Please remember you are not alone and most certainly NOT crazy!!! I completely understand how you feel as does millions of others in one way or another. You are stronger than you think and you most certainly can beat your body and still achieve things you want to. Remember... losing is not an option!! :) We are in it together and if we stick together, spread love and awareness and help one another.... we can and will achieve absolutely ANYTHING! 

I really hope this helps you understand a little bit more about what the condition is and all the things that go with it. Remember, it might take a few seconds to share a post about it but people with the condition experience these symptoms every single day all day and night.... we need more research to be done to find ways to manage this condition. So ... please please please share this post and help spread awareness about PoTS..... Just because it is an invisible illness and you can't physically see it does NOT mean it is not there or not real!! 

That is everything for this post so all that is left to say is have a lovely day and remember to smile :) 

Stay Strong

<3