I'm Alive - Gastroparesis Update

Hellllooooooo There

How are you all doing? 

I just want to start off by saying that I am sorry it has been quite a while since I last posted - I am alive... just! My health seems to be on a downward spiral once again :( NOT COOL!! 

The toe seems to be VERY slowly improving(ish). Still going back and forth to the nurse trying different dressings and creams to get this stupid granulation to get off my toe. It just doesn't want to leave. Enjoys hanging onto me.... least someone does hahahahaha 

My tummy is just being a lil' poop to put it politely. I've been in a lot of pain recently so have barely been eating meaning my energy is... well.... pretty much non existent once again. Not sleeping properly doesn't help much either. I worked a 7 and a half hour shift yesterday, got home and about 30 minutes after I got home (if that), I laid down on my bed and that was that. I fell asleep (in my work clothes and glasses)! I woke up every other hour or two but slept until about 8:30/9am today with a nose bleed. Random or what? I feel no better for it though as I kept waking up constantly throughout the sleep. So, it was a super disturbed sleep and didn't make me feel much better. I spent the rest of the day in bed with the dog as I feel so lousy. As for tomorrow, I am going to drag my sweet A$$ into work tomorrow and do my best to get through the shift and show my body who is boss. Who wins? Probably my body ... but I can only try LOL. As of tomorrow, I am officially 'Team Leader/Supervisor" at work!! I really need my body to corporate with me or this is going to be extremely hard :( Only time will tell how things go. 

I'm pretty nervous though as my weight is dropping off again and is actually now lower than what it was at when my specialist put a feeding tube in last time. I am PRAYING that Mr. Pain Dr (next seeing him on Thursday) can sort out my pain so I am able to eat before it gets too much lower and my specialist says enough's enough and makes me have another feeding tube or something :( 

That's pretty much it for now as I am probably going to post this, roll over, cuddle the dog and attempt to sleep and not throw up as I am feeling pretty darn sick right now. Before I go though, I know a lot of my Gastroparesis friends are also not doing too great right now, so please keep them all in your prayers and love!! If any of you are reading, I love you all to the moon and back and always here to have a chit chat - we can keep each other company :) 

As always, be sure to comment below, and follow all my links and come chat to me. Will give me something to do when I am stuck in my bed not feeling too hot!! (There is a page with all my links on here if you don't already follow me on them)

Todays question is - What are your 3 must have things when you are sick in bed? 

Stay Strong

<3

Nurse Burnt My Toe??? - Gastroparesis Update

Hello Hello Hello

Long Time No Speak..... How you all doin'?

Thought it was about time for a little update. Mr Doggy is doing great. His cone came off and his paw is looking and feeling much better. YAY! We get to cuddle up close and personal again :D

Me & My Baby Snuggling
Arm In Arm.. LITERALLY
<3

As for me... I wish I could say the same =[ Since my last update, nothing has really changed to be honest. I think I may be having a side affect of the newest medication so we have got to keep an eye on that and I'm still not really eating or drinking. The belts have come out the wardrobe once again. NOT COOL!! I've had a rough week emotionally, physically and mentally. Yesterday (Friday) in particular. Was feeling pretty darn ill, fragile and down in the dumps and then got some news at work that finished me off and I had a little breakdown at work in the toilets on and off for the rest of that day. I then got home, pretty much went straight to my bed after a chat with my mum and was sleeping on and off from about 5ish because I was feeling so ill and emotionally drained and stuff like that. 

My toe is no better. OK, maybe I should rewind as I don't think I've explained or mentioned this in a previous post. Kind of gross but hey - sharing is caring HAHA. So the skin by my toe nail split, got infected (so had yet another course of antibiotics) and skin granulation started growing. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's when the skin cells basically get over excited when growing and repairing after an injury. They don't stop growing causing a lump of skin on top of your skin. Does that make sense for you non medically trained or who have never come across it before. So, the nurse burnt off the

The Silver Nitrate Sticks They Use
They 'Activate' Them By Putting Them Under Water
And It Sparks Them!! 

skin granulation with silver nitrate. Let me just take a second to tell you how EXTREMELY freaking painful it is. Not so much when it's being done but for the entire day after it's been done. It's now been burnt off twice because it then grew back a week later and both times I ended up having a bag of frozen veg on my toe for the rest of the day and when I was sleeping. Who knew frozen veg would come in handy for someone who can't eat them HAHA!! My toe is all wrapped up still and I am going back to the nurse again on Thursday. FINGERS CROSSED IT HASN'T GROWN BACK and the fluid that had started building up on the toe has gone down. My body and I seem to have a hate-hate relationship these days!! But, as a little fishy once told me.... ♫♫♫ 'Just Keep Swimming' ♫♫♫

Anyways, question of the post. What is your favourite thing about Fall/Autumn (depending on where you live :P)? - Seems random but I've been watching a lot of Youtube videos today about Autumn outfits and makeup and such :) x

Stay Strong

<3

Poorly Dog Is In The Ward - Gastroparesis Update

Hello you lovelies,

It's been a while I think (or it feels like it anyway) since I last did a blog post. I just don't quite know where time goes. Why is it that time either goes super slow or super fast? There just doesn't seem to be an in between or is that just me being special?

So, what's new? How am I? Has the injection worked? I hear you all screaming.... or not as the case is most likely to be. Hey! I can imagine and believe it if I want to :) 

So, where do I start? The injection was pretty darn painful when it was done this time, not going to lie. He did it slightly more over to the left of my stomach than last time and hit the spot where it was most tender and painful. My entire body stiffened up, my knees tensed and went dead straight whilst holding my breath attempting not to cry from pain. I felt like maybe it was a good sign? Maybe he had got the right spot and it would do the trick? HAHA who was I kidding. To be fair, the pain is SLIGHTLY and by slightly I mean like a crumb size better IF I don't eat or drink. If I eat or drink then..... we have .no lift off once again!! During the day, I have noticed a very slight improvement particularly before I move. As the day goes on however, we are back to square one. Which, quite frankly .... SUCKS... wouldn't you agree? I have to email Mr. Pain Dr either tomorrow or Wednesday to let him know what has happened since the injection to see where we go from here. Maybe a higher dose? Maybe do it in a few places? Who knows... I'm a little hopeful though as it has been the only thing that has shown ANY sign of improvement or possibility that it could potentially work alongside something else or something like that. I did some retail therapy yesterday with my sister and mum so that is always good :) Well, my purse doesn't necessarily agree with that but oh well YOLO  :D 

Maxi The Mental Dog

In other news, my baby boy (the dog, not an actual baby) is poorly. He has a poorly paw so he has been sulking for the past few days. He got a grass seed we think in his paw and then he licked it out and the hole it left got a little bit infected. So, he's on two lots of medication (still not quite up to my level just yet haha) and he has a cone round his head. He's not a happy bunny, but then would you be if

you had a cone round your head? He can't eat or drink properly without me feeding him or lifting the bowl up to his head. Sometimes he is super fussy and likes me giving him water through a syringe. I also have to scratch his head and behind his ears for him because when he tries all he does is give the cone a scratch. I don't think a plastic cone really needs a good scratch to get rid of an itch though. SPOILT DOG OR WHAT THOUGH? So, my bed is like a hospital ward now with the both of us. Oh, and I'm on antibiotics again for a stupid annoying infection. I swear my body just hates me!!!

So between me and the dog.... well.... what a pair eh?! 

Well, that is all for today. I filmed some videos today for my YOUTUBE CHANNEL, so I'm either going to go edit those, watch other peoples youtube videos, get distracted by cuddling the dog or hibernate for the night. Haven't quite decided which one to do just yet :) 

Question for the post - Do you have any pets? If yes, what animal and what's their name? If no, what would be your dream pet? Comment below or drop me a TWEET :) x

Love you all you sexy people :) 

Stay Strong

<3

Energy Fail - Gastroparesis Update

HELLLOOOOOO you lovely human beings

How you doin'? (Now say that again, but as if you are Joey from the tv show Friends)

I thought I'd give you a quick little update. Not too much has happened in the last few days to be honest. The pain has been getting worse and the energy has been getting lower. What do you expect when you're running on fresh, polluted and COLD air? Oh yes, Winter is definitely on its way. It is FREEZING!! I seriously wish I lived somewhere that was nice and warm all year round!! Don't you? Or do you like the cold and wet weather? Comment below!! 

Anyway, back on the subject of Gastroparesis. I have an appointment tomorrow with the pain specialist and he is going to be doing the same injection again but with a much higher dosage. He's going whack it in there and we are hoping and praying it does the trick. I'm losing weight again because I am not eating and quite frankly, I AM STARVING!!!! I am so blooming tired as well which is just not cool. Although, lying in bed, in pjs, under my duvet cover and snuggled up to the dog and teddy is rather cosy when it's cold outside :P Always a positive in every negative as they say. Well, I think the actual saying is 'Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining' but who cares about the details HAHA!

Not sure why I've put this picture in
But it's cute... SO I DID..
BECAUSE I CAN :D

Not much else to report as nothing has improved or changed and nothing dramatic has happened that doesn't regularly happen anyways. I shall let you lovely people know how the higher dosage of injection turns out so keep yo sexy fingers crossed because .... well I don't really know where I am going with this but it sounded good in my head! :) 

That's all for now. Speak to you all soon! 

Stay Strong

<3

New Year, New Achievement? Gastroparesis Update (&Life)

Welllll... Helloooo there you lovely human beings

How you all doing? Good? Great? Brill? 

I thought I'd give you all a little update as it has been a few days now.

What has been going on? 

Apple & Honey (AND HONEY CAKE)
 is a New Year Tradition

Well, for those of you who don't know, it was Rosh Hashanah (The Jewish New Year) on Thursday & Friday just gone. So, as usual we went to Synagogue on the Thursday morning. I lasted about an hour maybe and then I had to run out as I felt like I was going to through up. AWKWARD!! (sorry if this is a bit.... gross - but unfortunately it is life when living with Gastroparesis) Through the majority of my illness I have never really been one to be sick often it's usually been the pain. For the most part, the bad sickness comes when the pain is at a real high - which it has been recently in particular again. I've been lucky in that the majority of the time that I have gone to be sick, I have been at home or at least out of public view and near a toilet. This time... that was far from the case. Everyone was sitting down and

quiet listening to what was being read out by the Rabbi when I turned to my mum telling her 'I think I'm going to throw up'. I got up, ran across the room, out the Synagogue and across the car park to the bushes. My body does not deal well with being sick - but then again who's does LOL. A lot of the time that I throw up, my body goes into shock and I'll end up having or coming close to having a panic attack. As per usual, my body started going into shock and everything was going tingley and shakey and I was in tears. My Mum went to get my Dad and he took me home where I then went to throw up again (as I have many nights in the past few weeks). I was retching but nothing actually came out but I guess that makes sense being that I haven't eaten in well a while lets say, so there was nothing in there to come out. It then worsens the pain even more which is just NOT cool! I was horrified by it. It's made me super anxious about going back to Synagogue on Saturday next week for Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) incase it happens again. Seat by the door for me I think!!! 

The pain doesn't seem to be getting any better which is frustrating and not making me a happy bunny at all as you'd expect. My pain is a real pain in the hooharr (what? It's the best I could think of that was polite :D ) Bring on Wednesday when the pain specialist is giving me another injection but with a higher dose of the Cortisone. Everything is crossed that this makes a difference!! It really is getting me down in the dumps feeling so ill and not being able to eat and being isolated from people and family when it comes to family meals be it my parents and siblings or bigger family get togethers that I don't go to. I've pretty much stopped going to family get togethers because I either don't feel well enough

and/or I am too uncomfortable being around the food whilst they are all eating and I can't eat anything even though I want to more than anything!! STUPID STOMACH!! GET YOU FREAKING ACT TOGETHER.... AND FAST! 

On a real positive though, if you have seen my 

video on my Youtube Channel (which I have attached to this blog post - be sure to watch it & maybe even thumbs up it) about being able to achieve whatever you want to, I mentioned how I was really proud of myself for managing to keep my job through all my illness. Today, I got promoted to Supervisor. That in itself is a huge achievement, but the fact that I have been through so much in the past two years and I'm still being given this opportunity and that they think I can do it has really boosted my confidence and my fight to beat this illness. It really goes to show that no matter what gets thrown at you, you can still achieve anything you set your mind to!!

Anyway, I thought I would leave you all with a positive!! My question for you all today is - What is the 1 thing you have achieved that you are the most proud of? It can be anything from getting out of bed if that's a struggle to a dream job or well... anything you wish it to be :) 

Don't forget to spread the word.... Help raise awareness and one day discover a cure!!
Be sure to check out my channel and show me some love there too PLEASEEEEEE :) would mean a lot <3 www.youtube.com/thedramaqueensoph

Love you all lots and lots like jelly tots

Stay Strong

<3

How The Pacemaker Settings Are Changed - Gastroparesis Update

Howdy my lovelies

As I told you earlier, I had an appointment today with my specialist. He is the one who diagnosed me and has done all my treatment such as feeding tubes, medication and the pacemaker of course. I went today for my check up and a general see how I am doing kind of appointment. 

The pacemaker is checked my using a device that looks like what I can only describe as the machine they use when you get a delivery and you have to sign for it. It has another bit connected to it that kind of looks like a plug but without the bits that actually go into the holes. I'm sure there's a technical term for them but oh well!! The 'broken plug' bit goes onto my stomach over the pacemaker and then my specialist can change settings and check that the pacemaker is working properly on the machine bit. I don't feel a thing.

Pacemaker Controller

Due to the fact that I didn't see much difference since we turned the settings up in May, he turned it back down today to see how I do then. By turning it down it means the battery will get around 6 years of life, whereas on the setting I had it on the battery only had 2 or 3 years. So, if there isn't much difference in how I am between them, we may as well have it on the lower setting. Am I making sense or have I lost you yet? :) 

Other than changing the settings, he said we just have to keep an eye on my weight, so I have to keep a weekly diary of what I weigh. Don't want too much weight falling off so we gotta monitor that carefully. There's not much else he can do for me as it is down to the pain specialist to help me with the pain and hopefully get me back to being able to eat again. At the moment, when I eat I am in sooooo much pain that it makes me need to be sick and retch but nothing comes out. I'm really bad with throwing up so my body then goes into shock or have a panic attack or something along those lines. So NOT cool. So I pretty much go straight to bed after that happens even though my sleeping is atrocious again. On the plus, I'm all caught up on all the latest news... I need something to do when I can't sleep for the majority of the night but everyone else is sound asleep HAHA!!!

I feel so drained emotionally and a bit downhearted because I am feeling so ill but there's not much we can do. I'm starving but can't do anything about it and feel like I'm going backwards once again. I have no energy and feel so tired after doing pretty much nothing and no sleep. All I can do is keep on with the fight and hope things improve I suppose. Maybe they'll find something new soon?

Anyways, that is all for today. I shall speak to you all again very soon :) Don't forget to spread the word to help increase Gastroparesis Awareness. 

On a happier note, if you fancy a laugh, you should definitely go check out my last Youtube Video. It'll give you a good chuckle that's for sure :) 

Stay Strong

<3

The Chubby Bunny Challenge

Welllll... Hellooo there all my lovelies

For this post it's a little different to what I've being talking to you about so far. Thought I'd mix if up a bit and make you all laugh. 

As many of you will know, I make Youtube Videos and LOVE doing it. So, I thought I'd share my last video with you all and hopefully give you a good old laugh if nothing else. I saw this challenge floating around the youtube world and so I roped my lil bro into doing The Chubby Bunny Challenge and well.... have a look for yourself and see how we got on. 

Fun fact... One Direction did this challenge with Zoella too!!! 

If it made you chuckle, I would love to know so be sure to comment on the video by going over to my channel. Whilst you're over there, maybe you could subscribe and check out my other videos? I'm sure you'll enjoy it and won't be disappointed HAHA :) Be sure to let me know in the comments that you got there from my blog... would be awesome to know.

Keep an eye out for another Blog Post later today on another Gastroparesis Update from my specialists appointment this morning.

Speak to you all later 

Stay Strong

<3

Grumpy Dog - Gastroparesis Update

Howdy you lovely people,

How you all doing? Good? I hope so :) 

Here is another update for you all. Oh, and before I forget, the new medication I was given alongside the injection is called Cymbalta (also known as Duloxetine). It is a form of anti-depressant that helps relax the muscles. We are hoping that it will stop mine from spasming and causing me pain. Will it help? Who knows - only time will tell I suppose!! 

The injection is .... well, I'm not really sure. It seems to take the edge off - kinda. But I'm still in a fair amount of pain. My eating hasn't been great to be honest and I'm in pain after I eventually manage to pluck up the courage to eat. I am STARVING but what can I do? It sucks so I just need

My Lil Terrier...
No really, He's a West Highland Terrier :)

 to distract myself and sleep lots. It's definitely not quite as bad as it was before I had it but it's certainly not done anywhere near enough to make eating do-able. We are going to see if maybe the pain man can do another injection but a higher dose and see if that does anything more. I mean, sure it's not done much so far but it showed a glimmer of hope so thinking that if it was a higher dose that maybe it would help. Even if it's just enough that I can bare the pain rather than curled up in tears. I had another sleepless night last night and woke up pretty much every hour. Think the dog was getting rather annoyed with me moving about all night because I definitely heard some huffs and puffs from him HAHA!! 

The pain seems to get worse as the day goes on whether I have done anything that day or not. So my evenings consist of my laptop, dog, phone and most importantly... MY BED :D 

I'm seeing my specialist on Wednesday. The one who popped the pacemaker in and got me to where I am today. He'll most probably check the pacemaker is all good and working and maybe play around with the settings, maybe not. Who knows. So I shall be sure to let you know how that goes. There's not much else to update really as the pain has been much the same with just a slight edge taken off and the medication can take around 10 days to kick in.

Before I go, I just wanted to take the time to say Thank You to everyone who has been reading my Blog and/or watching my Youtube Channel. The feedback and support and kind words (particularly in the last week) I have had back are overwhelming and ultimately are what keep me going on days that I don't feel so good. Knowing that people care and enjoy what I take time to do, is amazing :) Be sure to leave comments below or on my youtube or maybe you fancy a chat? If you do,  Tweet Me or Facebook Me and we can have a chit chat :)

My question for you all today is, What are your aims for this week? Let Me know!

Stay Strong 

<3