The Importance Of A Patient Doctor Relationship

Hey Everyone, 

I hope you are all doing good? - I have had a rough old week with 2 hospital admissions via ambulance but that's a whole other story and is going to put into a post but today I felt the urge to write a post about the topic of a Patient-Doctor relationship. I am warning in advance, this is more of a rant than a full on post as I have had a few extremely bad experiences recently.

When you go to any doctor regardless of what it is for, you put your trust into that doctor to be able to help you and treat you correctly. If that trust gets broken for any reason you lose faith in you treatment you are receiving and it makes it a more difficult situation for you and the doctor. 

I recently had an NJ feeding tube put back in (and taken out - not cool) as my health has deteriorated and I faint and have fit like episodes after eating a meal or anything substantial, and until they control that it means I am unable to keep myself going nutritionally. I have had this procedure many times now and unfortunately and have got to know what does and doesn't work well for me personally with all my chronic health conditions. Now, don't get me wrong, doctors know a lot and often will know more than the patient as they've studied it and dealt with it more. However, when it comes to people with chronic illness', they will often know more about the condition and how it effects their body and how certain interventions affect those conditions and not all doctors accept this. 

When there is an understanding and trust between the patient and dr, both sides cooperate in a much calmer and positive way meaning a much higher level of care and treatment is received. Starting an appointment with "I don't really know why you are here" or "what do you want me to do" or " what is 'insert name of condition'" or "to be honest I know best so we are doing it my way or no way" does not make for a good start to an appointment or for a good appointment or relationship with that doctor at all for that matter. I have come across some amazing doctors and specialists over the past few years but have unfortunately also come across many rude and ignorant ones. I've even come across a specialist recently who has refused to see me for being too complex. I mean seriously?! Too complex for a specialist?! 


Now, I appreciate this is a rant and not all doctors are like this for example my pain specialist, I don't have a bad word to say about him and trust in everything he says whether it is something I want to hear or not but this particular doctor I came across when I had my tube fitted recently has just really reminded me how important it is to have that relationship with a doctor be it a GP or a specialist for long term issues - so what do I do.... I rant on here :) 

For a doctor to ask you what your condition is as they'd not heard of it and how it'll affect the procedure they're doing is an instant problem in my head. It instantly makes me lose a little trust and makes me feel less safe in the hands of this person who is about to stick a camera and tube through my body. However, I do also appreciate that no one person can know of every single condition BUT to then tell the patient they are wrong and they're doing it their way because they know best and they aren't happy changing up how they had planned on doing this incase there is an emergency that comes in whilst he is doing the procedure on me does nothing but raise my anxiety levels right up. Not only that, half way through the procedure they tell you that you are too distressed and he won't do I and I will have to come back and get someone else as they don't want to do it is NOT ok in anyway (especially yelling at you). When you get told you should feel sleepy (as requested may I add) and you tell them it hasn't worked and you don't feel sleepy at all and to get yelled at and basically be told you're really not important is going to make you have extremely mixed emotions and is not the ingredients to the procedure or appointments to be good or successful or as stress free as it can be. Basically being told it's their way or the highway as isn't cool. It really leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Sometimes doctors need to learn to accept to work with the patient and their knowledge in their own body as well as their own. A good bed side manner is important.... I get people have bad days but that is just a bit too far. I also know I am not the only person to experience things like this. Turns out the NJ was fitted and had a kink in it so had to be pulled out a couple of days later as I wasn't able to use it... after all that!! 


This is NOT a dig at the NHS like someone had a go at me for. I appreciate the NHS very much and without it I would not have received the care and treatments I have needed. Though, whether it is NHS or private healthcare, you should not be made to feel more anxious, belittled, angered, a burden etc... 
I was also taken into hospital by ambulance recently and the second time I went in because I kept fainting when I stood up or even took a sip of water, the gastroenterologist told us there was nothing wrong and to go home.... he then watched me drink a smoothie and faint and said oh yeah maybe that is an issue. I mean..... seriously, he didn't even check me over, or check anything at all before telling us I was fine and to go home. I am not going to have been taken in by ambulance if there was nothing wrong? I don't see that as a fun evening activity funnily enough - especially after being rushed in 2 days previously unconscious and even taken into resus. Clearly a doctor who just didn't have the care to do any work!! 


It just makes me so mad when bedside manner is forgotten or ignorance is in these doctors who are doctors to help make people better... surely you would care if you have chosen to study for all those years to help people feel better? 

Basically, to get the best out of the patient,treatment, doctor and well everything, it all stems from a good relationship with the doctor and having trust in them.

What are your thoughts/experiences on this matter? 

I'll stop rambling now - it probably doesn't even make sense but like I have said previously, I started this to get things off my chest so that is what I am doing.

That's all for now
Thanks for ready

Stay Strong
<3

Getting Back On The Right Path

Hey Everyone

How are you all? 

I know it has been a fair while since I last posted and there are a few reasons for that. Having said that, I'm happy to say I am back and plan for it to stay that way. 

To get back into it I wanted to talk about a couple of the reasons as to why I stopped blogging and where I am at today. I will do a separate post updating you with my health properly but once you start reading you will understand what I mean. BUTTTT you probably want to grab a cuppa or something because it could be a long one... SORRY NOT SORRY! 

I started my blog and my Youtube channel for that matter to help raise awareness of my health, to try and help others out there who are suffering with chronic health conditions or help those around us understand what it is like and to be able to continue entertaining people as I have always been into acting since I was really little. The feeling I got when I was receiving comments saying something I had written or put up on Youtube had helped them in whatever way it was or that my video cheered them up and made them laugh that day when it was a difficult one was amazing (especially if I was

also having a difficult day). If I am honest it helped me realise that anything was possible regardless of my health situation. Sure, things had to be adapted or achieved in a different way but it wasn't going to define me or make me unable to do what I wanted even if it was in a way that I had not thought it was going to be. Hell, I got to be in the DailyMail online and on ITV News to help raise awareness and show people they are not alone and got even more amazing feedback. I made a video of me getting my pacemaker and the journey leading up to that in the hope that if I helped just one person going through it or helped one person learn what Gastroparesis is that hadn't heard of it I was winning and my health wasn't. I never expected the video to get over 12 thousand views!!! But in the mist of all of these amazing things that had come from a not so great situation.... I then started to lose that positivity energy.

Everyone goes between being positive and being negative...

We are human! However, sometimes with chronic illness these positive or negative feelings are enhanced a little and more often than not it is those negative feelings that are enhanced. It is extremely normal and very common for low moods, negative thinking and even depression to occur when living with a chronic illness. Your life gets tipped upside down when you get diagnosed and when you live with it and live with the constant fear of not knowing how you're going to wake up tomorrow and whether you're going to get through the day of have a major dip and end up back in hospital or in a bad way and are constantly in pain.... you are bound to sink into depression. We live in a world where the media like to show the "perfect figure" and the "perfect (and normal) lifestyle" etc... when in fact that's not the real world. No two people are the same and no two lives aren't the same but it doesn't mean that you're not perfect or right and that your lifestyle isn't going to be enjoyable and make you happy. So when you are going through all these major life changes to adapt to your health and suddenly you are unable to do some or most of the things the media shows, you are bound to start feeling crappy and like your life is over. 

It is hard not to when you see all these people that appear to be living the "perfect & normal life" - but what you don't see is what they're feeling or how they live away from the camera be it Youtubers or musicians or actors or whatever they do. You see what they want you to see or what the media want you to see. How many celebrities do you know that have chronic health conditions? Not many I bet and that's because not many celebrities share it with the world be it because they want to have privacy or because they're told not to for whatever reason. Then you get the people who judge you or make fun of your situation because they don't understand it or see it as different because it is not what they are dealing with and no what the media shows! No wonder I started feeling demotivated and like I wasn't going to be able to live a "normal" life. I lost all of my positivity and motivation to beat my health and still achieve amazing things. As my health got worse I felt like my life was over. That I couldn't achieve things and I was putting all my energy to all the wrong things and then it becomes a habit. 

I recently saw and read an interview with Selena Gomez. Now, she is someone that has had a lot of negative things said about her and has gone through a really rough time but has stayed strong and come out the other side. The reason I have mentioned her is because she talked about a chronic illness that she is living with. She has days where she is exhausted and physically feels in pain but she pushes through and doesn't let it beat her. She has achieved so many amazing things even though she has been dealing with that. Tell me, why isn't that all over the news and the media to show the world that it doesn't matter what you are going through, if you put your mind to it and want it enough... you can achieve it - no matter what! If you want something enough .... no one and I mean no one can stop you. You might have to try getting to that goal in a few different ways but you'll get there! I know it is wayyyyyy easier said that done and I need to take my own advice (which I am not very good at) but everything happens for a reason at the right time even if we can't see it at that moment. People come and go but the people that are good for you and are true are the people that will stay and also the ones that will help you grow!

I've had a lot of pain recently in every aspect of my life - physically, emotionally and mentally. I've had people come and go, my health is back on a downwards spiral and out of my control and I have just become really unhappy with where my life is at and what I'm doing with and in my life. There is not one bit of my life that  ever imagined would be happening and all the things I did imagine or hope for aren't there... at least not at a quick glance. Sure, I have people who I know are there for me through thick and thin and I wouldn't change that for the world (that is the only thing that has kept me going) but my life just isn't what I expected. But I'm slowly realising that the things we don't ever imagining happening to us are the things that teach us the most and are the things that end up helping put us on the right track... even if it is to make a point!! Nothing in life is "normal". Everyone's life is a challenge and is different to the person next to them but it is what we make of it that makes it "perfect". If we let people or health or just life in general control us..... we lose ourselves and we lose the things we want in life and we don't achieve things to our best potential. 

I don't even know if any of this really makes sense but in my head it does and I just decided to type whatever comes out because it is when you start amending things and overthinking things that we end up compromising being 100% truthful to ourselves. If we accept the things we can't change and change the things we won't accept..... we can achieve the most amazing things and be the happiest person ever! We just have to make the best of what we can in the situations we can't change or control but take control and change the situations we can to make them the best possible!!

And that is what I plan to do.... make the best of the situation with my health but change the situations I can to make the best of them and make them how I want to and how I originally intended to set them out to be! Living with a chronic illness is hard to accept and I can't say I have accepted it entirely because I haven't and I have days that I just can't handle it and wish for a "normal" life but once I start changing the things I can, I am hoping I will become happier and in turn find it easier to accept my health!!! 

So, who's with me? Who is going to make the best of the situations we can't change or control and take control and change the ones we can!?!?

That's all for now. I have made a video that I also posted today that matches and talks about the things I have talked about on here but in a bit more detail and all that jazz so if you want to watch that (or other fun things that are on my channel) then click this link. www.youtube.com/thedramaqueensoph - and don't forget to thumbs up the video an subscribe to have loads more fun!! 

Stay Strong

<3