A Specialist Who Actually Cares?? - Gastroparesis Update

Heyy Guys

How's you all doing? 

I've had a pretty rough weekend to be quite honest. It has been pretty darn suckish! I spent Saturday in bed pretty much which might sound appealing to some but after 2 years of having many bed days and feeling pretty darn crappy is .... well..... crappy! As much as I have always loved a good lay in, feeling super sick and in pain isn't my idea of the perfect weekend lay in. To be perfectly honest, the medication that I'm trying now doesn't seem to be doing anything as of yet. My mood has dropped but the pain specialist confirmed today that he isn't at all surprised by that as I stopped the last medication straight away due to side affects rather than ween my way off it slowly. It was within the anti-depressent family at a very low dose that then just works as a muscle relaxant which we had hoped would help the spasming muscles. We all know that wasn't the case! 

I had my appointment with my specialist today and he turned the pacemaker back up to the settings it was on before he turned it down. It pulses for 3 seconds and off for 2 I think? I don't remember to be honest, I could have just made that up and got all my numbers wrong though as I was a tad emotional during the appointment today. I think it was a mixture of extreme tiredness from not sleeping and not having energy from not eating & drinking along with being very fed up and weak now and my emotions just got the better of me today. I went straight to work after my appointment and just really was not there in soul just body. I didn't want to talk to anyone which is hard being that I work in customer service HAHA. I felt like I was going to burst into tears at any point and just yeah, wasn't feeling it is an understatement. Not a happy bunny and been in a lot of pain today again from the moment I woke up which is just so frustrating considering I haven't eaten anything today and had half a

The Most Amazing Family ( Picture from 2010 - I think :P )

cup of drink and its 9:30pm (well it was when I typed this part.... ). I'm just going through that time that I'm super fed up and tired and emotional and feel like I can't fight it and deal with it all anymore. I'm starving and want to eat so badly but I can't. I know the consequences of eating anything especially with the bad pain I'mm in from practically just breathing air :( It was nice to find out though that my specialists secretary called my dad on this afternoon as requested by my specialist as he wanted to make sure I was ok because he was worried because I was crying and down in the dumps when I saw him this morning. I thought that was really nice of him. I can't say I have ever had any Dr or Specialist ever be worried or care like that to check up on me later that day. It kind of regained my faith in him caring about me rather than just seeing me as another project to work on if that makes sense. I don't know but it made me feel good. I'm super lucky to have amazingly supportive parents who are both doing anything they can whether it be hassle my pain specialist to help me have a 'break period of pain' to get my strength up or just there for a good old cuddle and shoulder to cry on giving supportive positive vibes and stuff like that. Without them I probably would have given up a LONG time ago. So if either of you happen to be reading this.... I LOVE YOU BOTH TO THE MOON AND BACK AND COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER PARENTS <3! 

Other than feeling pretty crappy not much else has changed. My specialist did mention to us today about Laser Acupuncture. He reckons it could potentially help with the pain and nausea and doesn't involved any needles.... Thank FFFFFFFF for that. We are looking into that and what it all involves and outcomes etc and maybe I'll give it a try... I'd try going to the moon if it would help to be fair! I shall keep you all updated with what happens with that and whether I try it or not etc. 

For now though, I think I am going to go and curl back up into a ball on my bed with my headphones in and music blaring and hide away from the world. Maybe even have a good cry and let it all out... assuming I can do that as crying does make pain worse and the pain level is pretty high right now as it is :( 

Sees you all later

Stay Strong

<3