The Switch Off - Pull Out

Heyyy 

How you doing?

Bye Bye Tube =[

I can't quite rememeber exactly what I said in my last Gastroparesis update post, however, I do believe quite a lot has changed since. The tube has come out for starters which is not cool because that is my baby, that is what has got me through this far. And if that was not bad enough, the pacemaker has also been turned off. I'm no longer officially "Robocop" for now HAHA!! The two things that have kept me going all be it not amazingly, but nevertheless I am still alive with them. Not having the pacemaker on has certainly showed that it was working to some extent. The pain and nausea I have had is back to how it was at the very beginning of this. I've had a few retching sessions after attempting to eat which sucks because this triggering off extra anxiety (as if that wasn't bad enough at the moment). But the pain..... oh my goodness has the pain been bad.

Now, although the pacemaker isn't for the pain as such and is more for the sickness, it clearly helps a very little bit. Since the pacemaker was turned off last Wednesday, the pain has just been getting worse and worse every day. The pain during the day without eating is really bad too since the tube and pacemaker has come out/turned off. I'm not to sure if it is because the medication that was helping the 'normal' day to day pain is now going in my mouth rather than down the tube or if it is because the pacemaker being turned off. Either way, it SUCKS.
I ate some soup along with a small amount of potatoes and mince meat the other night. I have not been in that much pain in a very long time. I am not a happy bunny.... at all. that much pain in a very long time. It was horrendous. If I didn't have my knees bent up to my chest, I felt like I couldn't breathe it was that bad. Normally, with the help of my dad, I can crawl up to bed with him kind of pushing me along. On this occasion, crawling was not an option. My dad ended up getting my swival chair that is on wheels and wheeling me to the stairs, the stairs were then a nightmare. He then carried on wheeling me to the toilet and to my bed. I was in so much pain it was ridiculous. On the plus side, I've been told by fellow Gastroparesis girls, that giving birth is less painful than the pain we get, so, if I ever have kids, it'll be a breeze. I'll just sit there with my legs open singing and chatting whilst having a laugh HAHA!

So, I am trying this new treatment thingymabob which is why the pacemaker has been turned off. We don't know all that much about it and it hash't been tried or used in that many GP patients. So, guinea pig Sophie once again. I will be sure to tell you all about it with pictures and stuff when I know more and have used it a little so I can actually comment on it rather than ramble on about something I have no idea about. That would be pretty pointless and a waste of your time. That's me being thoughtful HAHA. It looks like it could potentially do something for general day to day pain, but it's early days and who knows with my body. I'm going to do a full blog post soon though so don't worry :)  

My mood has.... Well.... It's improved a little I guess. It's up and down to be honest. Not as badly as it was but I'm still all over the shop. I'm starting to be able to put things back into perspective and try think more positively so that's a good start. I've also got close to one person in particular who also has GP and we've been talking loads and it's really been helping. My friends from cheerleading are also really helping me out in so many ways that they probably don't even realize. Cheer helps me loads but making these friendships with people who enjoy the same as I do and them being so supportive and accepting and wanting to help and understand means so much. So if any of you are reading this .... I love ya and see ya Tuesday haha <3 
Well, other than being in a lot of pain, the tube coming out and the pacemaker being turned off, I don't think there is much else to update you with. It's a pretty short update on this occasion.
I did just want to say before I do go though, a huge thank you to you all. I started writing a blog to raise awareness for Gastroparesis as well as to try and help others suffering and to also help myself. It lets me release so much through writing these and really helps me clear my head and release emotions. The response I have been receiving lately and all the really kind words for you have been amazing. It has been just what I needed and something I never expected. I don't care whether I get 1 view on a post or 100 views. It helps me by writing them and if it only helps one other people to not feel alone or to understand how a family member or friend is feeling, then I am one happy bunny. So, Thank you :) <3

Well, that is all for today
Until next time

Stay Strong
<3