Self Blame: The Ultimate Emotional Absue

Hey Hey Hey,

Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I also still struggle with. And that is, Self Blame. People blame themselves a lot for a lot of many different things. Sometime, we are to blame. However, other times, we are not. Certain things are out of our control. 

I do believe my body HATES me!

I'm guilty as charged when it comes to blaming myself for things. I always do it whether it is or isn't actually my fault. I blame myself that I have no money but thats my fault for shopping too much. I also blame myself for my health or things that happen due to my health. For example, if I go out for the day and do something that requires a ton of energy and I come back at the end of the day in a lot of pain in my tummy, I blame myself and say I shouldn't have gone out and done whatever it was. I blame myself when things start effecting my family because they have to change plans because of me or I can't do something for them that I would have been able to do if my health was stable. Or, if I sit and eat some dinner or cheeky snack and end up in pain, I blame myself and say that I shouldn't have eaten whatever it was and now it is my fault I am in pain. But, in reality, it is not my fault. It is not my fault my stomach can't handle certain foods or activities and gives me pain. I have no control over how my stomach reacts after food or anything else for that matter. I know for a fact many of my Gastroparesis buddy's do the exact same thing. I saw someones status a few days ago saying that it was their fault they were in pain for going out to a fair for the day. How on earth is it their fault their tummy and body hurt from a day out that anyone in their 20's (or any age for that matter) would be able to do. It's not their fault and it is not fair.





You're not to blame......

I can't really sit here and give advice on how to stop thinking it is constantly our own fault for things that are just out of our control because I do the same thing. I have no idea how to change my own mindset to not think that. The reason I decided to write a post on this topic is because it is something I see often, particularly in chronically ill people. We blame ourselves for our health condition and the pain or sickness it gives us. If you sit there and eat a pizza and then throw it up and have horrendous pain, is that your own fault? NO! But for some reason, we still blame ourself. I've seen quite a few people (or their family writing it about the person) write Facebook status' or say to me that they feel like certain things are their fault, when, in reality they have done nothing wrong and nothing we aren't entitled to be able to do. 

Blaming ourselves for our health difficulties, feeling guilty about them, and sometimes even hiding them from others, are not surprising to be honest. Given huge amount of media stories and advertisements telling us that good health is within our control: we need only exercise, eat right, and get enough sleep. This simply isn't always the case. We're human bodies, and bodies are subject to illness, injury, and aging despite our best attempts to follow these "prescriptions" for good health. When either we or the world we create around us does not meet this illusory ideal, we often opt to take on fault and responsibility that is not actually ours. Our failure to recognize the balance of responsibility in any given situation leads us into the trap of wrongly taking that responsibility, which can quickly evolve into self-blame. Self blame can be paralyzing and can stop us from many things in life. We some how need to realise that we are not perfect and this idea of perfect health is non exsitant. I mean, what is perfect? What is normal? Just because Fred Bloggs can do this that or the other and so can Bob the builder, does that really mean it's the normal or is perfect? I think not. Everyone was made differently and given didnt journeys in life. He above only gives us obstacles when he knows we are capable to get through it. It is to give us a challenge and something to do so we don't get bored? Or, atleast that's what we can say to help us get through the bad times.

Life would be boring if everything was
already perfect. Right?!

Well, I think that is all for this post. Don't want you all falling asleep on me.

I hope you have a good day :)

Stay Strong
<3