Good morning, afternoon or maybe even evening,
who knows what time of the day it is that you're reading this.
I wanted to talk about something that I have felt during my health problems and even before. It is something that you can feel whether you are healthy or not and could be anywhere from school to work and by family or friends. Isolation.
Isolation is a horrible feeling to feel, but, it is one that most will experience at one point or another in their life. The thing about isolation is that you don't necessarily have to be physically on your own in a room. You could be in a room with 20 people or even 100 and still feel isolated.
During my illness in particular, I have felt so unbelievable isolated at times no matter what people that care about me have done or said. You see, as I've mentioned before, I am Jewish. Being Jewish makes having difficulties in eating extremely hard. Food is a BIG thing in the Jewish religion. Everything is celebrated around food and gatherings all involve food. Recently it was Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Two big things. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year and every year for as long as I can remember, my whole family get together in the evening for a big meal to bring in the New Year. And the same thing goes for Yom Kippur. To end the fast, everyone gets together and has a big
meal to end their hunger pains after not eating for the entire day. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to do that :(. Anyway, back to the point, for me, I don't feel comfortable to go there and sit and watch them all stuff their faces and talk and laugh and then get up from the table and eat some more snacks and desert. Having said that, staying at home on my own is also uncomfortable and makes you feel isolated. There is that dilemma. If I go, I feel isolated and uncomfortable but if I stay home alone I feel isolated because I am not with my family and missing out every time. What do I do? Whether I am there with everyone or at home alone, I am still uncomfortable and feel isolated from my own family which is not their fault but how it is. The worst part is, even if I was so get a friend to come round or go out with them, it doesn't change the fact that I am feeling isolated from not being able to join in with family gatherings because everything involves food of some sort. It is just the way of life.... especially Jewish life.
Even when people change their plans so it doesn't involve food and can mean I can join in, still leaves me feeling bad because I have gone and had to change everyones plans or birthday traditions for instance. I wish I could sit here and say I have found a way to stop feeling isolated so that I can share it with you all, but, the truth is, I haven't. I WISH I did. I feel isolated from friends sometimes because where as before we could go out for dinner in the evenings or get take away, we can't anymore. Sometimes that means I stop getting invited to things (for when I am well enough to do something). If you think about it, everything usually involves food at some point. You go out for dinner, get movie and take away, you go to the movies and get popcorn or even to the shops for a day and stop of for lunch. For someone that has nothing wrong when it comes to eating, they're all things you don't even think twice about. However, for me and others who do have difficulties with food, so much thought and feelings come into it. I stopped watching as much tv as I used to and why you ask? Well I'll tell you. Next time you're sitting there watching tv no matter what channel you are on, when the adverts come on, count how many of those adverts are about food. I did it with my mum the other day when I was talking about it with her, and 5 adverts in a row were to do with food of some sort. Now, for someone who is sitting there starving and can not do anything about it but REALLY wants to eat a nice meal, it is HARD and makes me feel so uncomfortable and just not a happy bunny. It stops me from wanting to watch tv in the evenings with my family, so I end up sitting in my room alone on my laptop. Does that help me or my mind? I don't think so :(.
People can feel isolated no matter what the situation. It doesn't have to be about food, it can be anything. From panic attacks to bullying to being new in a job or after school activity. We need to find a way to help and make sure we never make someone feel isolated no matter what the situation.
Recently, before my tube came out, I went to two different activities in the evening after work. One of them I felt so comfortable from the very first time I went and didn't feel like I was different or new to the group. The other one, as lovely as everyone was and as much as I enjoyed it, I just didn't feel as comfortable and was quite self conscious of my tube. I have no idea why, but it is just how people act around it all I guess. It is a weird feeling particularly because you can feel it whether you are physically alone or with people like I said at the beginning.
I don't have a particular point to make within this post about this subject. It is just something that I thought I would put out there and make people think about as I have been feeling very isolated and when I talk to others who say they're feeling isolated it makes me want to do something as I know how it feels but there's not always a way. Sometimes we can talk and discuss how we feel and what is causing it and if we feel the same it helps a little to know that I am not alone or crazy or over sensitive or something.
If you are feeling isolated, try talk to someone who is feeling the same. Even though it won't necessarily change the fact that you are feeling isolated, you'll at least know that you are not alone or crazy or being silly.
I don't know if this post is helpful or pointless or even makes all that much sense, but it was a topic that I really wanted to discuss. I also thought that maybe, if you want, we could all share tips that you may have picked up if you have felt isolated or ones you have to help someone who is feeling isolated. Maybe we could make this like a little forum and have a discussion to just help people in general and talk about the subject. I feel like it's a subject that doesn't get talked about a lot but it is one that is felt every single day but thousands of people.
Well..... start commenting below and let's discuss our thoughts and tips :)
That's all for now. I shall speak to you all soon.
Stay Strong
<3
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