What Is Life...?

Howdy Y'all

Today I thought I'd talk about something that has been on my mind. I use this blog as a release as I am not good at talking so that is what I am going to do. I apologise for the length and depth that may occur during this post so you may was grab yourself a cuppa or a cosy blanket and get comfy.

With everything that has been going on in my life, it isn't unsual that it is going to mess with my mind. It causes isolation in every aspect of life be it with family, friends, work or any other relationship and situations that occur on a day to day basis of life. I have discussed before about how I have felt isolated during family gatherings in the past or with friends and evenings out because of food and such. Even things like feeling guilty for friends who people who you are in a relationship with because, I feel like my health affects them and stops them having a normal life so to speak. When you feel down in the dumps, you isolate yourself and don't want to speak or hear anyone or anything else. It's horrible and can damage relationships and all sorts.
 

I feel like I have got to the point in life where I am just like ... what on earth am I doing with my life? My health has been the only thing on my mind for so long that I feel a little lost in life. I literally just feel like I have no aim or goal to work towards anymore. I have no qualifications past GCSE and a BTEC diploma and feel like I'm just not getting anywhere in life anymore. I know I have achieved many things in my life with everything that has happened but I'm the kind of person that wants to feel like I've done something good or helped someone or made a difference in a day. Does any of that make sense? In my head it does but I seems harder to explain when I want to try write it down and let it all out!

Even the word 'Impossible' says I'm possible

Do we live to work or work to live?
At the moment, all I seem to do is go to work to pay my bills and get to do what I want to do such a cheer. But is that how it should be?

Now that I am managing bigger gaps in between doctors, it just makes me have time to over think and wonder about people and just general things in and about my life. Like, what have I achieved since leaving school? Am I doing or using any of the skills of things I learnt at school or college? I suddenly have this feeling of emptiness and almost like I am just wasting my life and just doing things to pass the time.
 
Don't get me wrong, there are certain things in my life that I am happy with, but some..... not so much. I think it's time to change... to restart my life almost and do more things I want to do. We only live once. What's the point of saying 'I wish..' or 'I want to..', why not just do it. They say anything is possible right? I feel like I should write a list of things I want to do and achieve and just work my way through them to make me feel like I am actually living my life. It really irritates me when people say I am going to do this and then don't so why should it be any different for me. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.... that seems to be everyones favourite word that is never ending.


Right.... I am going to go and calm down and relax, or at least try to.
Then, I'm going to write myself a 'To achieve' list and just start working my way through it.

I want to know what things there are on your list of things to achieve? I'd love to hear from you!!

Well, until next time

Stay Strong
<3