Hey Guys,
I was inspired to write this post from both personal experience and hearing of others who have or are experiencing the same thing. It is something that makes me so incredibly upset yet angry whilst furious yet frustrated. I know it doesn't apply to everyone, but unfortuantely, unless you experience something, you don't know much about the subject and therefore don't know how to be when around someone who is experiencing it. This post could be a long one, so grab a cuppa (or set up your tube if you are a fellow tubie) and get comfy.
In this day and age, we all look up to those in the media. Some of the time this gives a positive message, but other times, not so much. With all the photoshop editing, people believe that if they faceplant their face into makeup or starve themselves to lose weight and be a size 0, they will become the next big thing or look amazing and give them all the confidence in the world. Granted, makeup can help with confidence if you get a spot and yes, being a good weight can help your confidence. That being said, certain illnesses become highlighted. Illnesses such as anorexia and bullemia. Anyone who has any sort of eating problem is instantly told they are anorexic or bullemic whether they are or not.
Before I was diagnosed (and still occasionally), I got told I was faking it for attention, or that I was anorexic/bullemic, or that I was using it as an excuse to not do/eat something or see someone. It's something that many of my fellow Gastroparesis friends have also experienced, along with thousands of others who have any form of eating problem. Unfortunately, people are so uneducated about health conditions unless they are common illness or seen in the media alot. That then leads to people saying things that hurt to those of us who are suffering with health conditions. Whether it is said intentionally or untentionally .... it hurts!! We are still human!! I'm not some robot who hasn't got any feelings just because I have a chornic illness!! Sometimes emotional pain is worse than physical pain... particularly when it's because of someone you thought was there for you.
Whether a person has been diagnosed or not, there are certain things that should just not be said. I know not everyone does, but unfortunately, a lot of people do say some of the things I have I have listed below to someone who has any form of eating problem (diagnosed or not). It is not ok and can be really hurtful for both them and their family if they hear it or have it said to them.
Telling someone;
- They are choosing to not eat
- They are faking it
- They are an attention seeker
- They are making it out worse than it actually is
- They are anorexic (even if they are, don't play on it)
- They are saying it to get out of eating something they don't like
- They are saying it to get out of doing something they dont want to do
- They are saying/using it so they don't have to see you
- They are fat/too skinny
- They are making your life difficult/harder
- And many other thngs
These are all things I have and still do experience and I hear about others who have the same.
I recently was told by a friend who is younger than me and is still at school about some of the things they are experiencing. They haven't been diagnosed yet but they get told by friends many of the things listed above. It's hard enough that when it comes to lunch time at school, they have to sit at a table around others who are eating and either try and attempt to eat something or just sit and watch. They even sometimes get forced to try and eat which, to be perfectly honest, just makes things worse. School is hard enough without being bullied in any way and saying things like the above to someone who is unwell is a form of bullying. You are messing with the way that person is thinking and feeling. The majority of the time, saying something nasty or unthoughtful to someone hurts more than if you were to punch them. Just like punching someone is not acceptable, saying hurtful things to people aren't - whether it's health related or not for that matter!
 |
| You don't know how someone reacts when they are behind closed doors at the end of the day. |
When I hear stories of things people have said to my family and that they've become upset over it, it makes me so unbelievably mad. Saying it to my face or even behind my back, but to my family? That's not ok. My family suffers just as much as I do. Maybe not in the same physical pain way as I do, but mentally and physically in living their lives they do. There is just no excuse for it.
Whether someone is faking it or not or even using their health as an excuse to not go somewhere or see someone, NEVER say it to them. Can you imagine how you would feel if you were in that position. You want nothing more than to be able to sit down and eat something nice, (without any consequences) but can't and then, you have people who are supposedly your friends (or family) and are meant to support and love you, but then say things that really hurt you whether it's meant or not. The person is most likely struggling both physically and mentally as it is and by being told stuff by the people they thought they can rely on, makes it so much harder. If you think someone is faking their illness (which, I don't understand why anyone would fake being ill over a period of time) or well... anything that could hurt them... keep it to yourself. Playing with people emotions can lead to even more health problems such as depression. Is that something you want? To make someones health worse or even cause mental health problems on top of everything, because you've knocked their self esteem and turned on your friend, partner, family member etc...
I also wrote a blog post not that long ago about things you didn't know about someone suffering with chronic pain. If you didn't read that but would like to, then click HERE.
It is the exact same thing, if someone is dealing with pain be it due to an eating problem or any other health problem, saying things can be so hurtful and really make the person feel alone and depressed.
Sorry to go on and on, but it is something that I just can't not talk about after hearing so many people I care about get upset because of it and when I experience it too. If you know someone who has any form of illness that you care about, don't push them away by hurting them or if you see or hear someone saying stuff to them that is hurtful, stand up for them.
Lets spread the word (and this post) and educated everyone about more conditions that aren't as well known and about you just gotta be normal around someone who has got an illness.... they're still human.
Love to all
Stay Strong
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment