Mixed Emotions

Good Morning, Afternoon or maybe even Evening to you beauties (depending when and where in the world you are reading this)

I thought today I would give an update on my Pain Specialists appointment yesterday.

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It was a very emotional and long (over 1 hour) appointment and I still feel tired from it today! After many tears and smiles, breakdowns and jokes, I had an injection in my stomach. It was a Local Anaesthetic and some Cortisone which was popped in just under my left rib by the Rectus Muscle. Like my little diagram? :) ---------------------->

 The Local Anaesthetic wears off after a few hours and the Cortisone kicks in. Cortisone is a medicine used to reduce inflammation in joints or muscles that can potentially help get rid of the nasty pain. They usually use it in places like your elbow, hip, knee, shoulder, back etc - but as usual, I like to be different and get it in my tummy. Normal is boring right?

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I've been started on a low dose and if it shows signs of helping it has room to potentially be upped. 

Has it shown any sign of helping I hear you screaming? Well maybe screaming, maybe you're not HAHA. Last night I ate for the first time in almost 2 weeks of being in far too much pain to even consider eating. I didn't get up for probably about 2 hours after I ate - partially because I was frightened to and partially because - well... I'm just lazy and like to sit around :). When I did eventually venture off my seat I took a couple slow steps forward. I didn't get hit with a sudden rush of pain and panic for the first time in about 2 years. I was so confused by what was happening and overwhelmed that I burst into tears and shouted out for my mum who came running. I'm pretty sure she shed a tear or two as well. It was like a new feeling all over again because it was something I hadn't felt and experienced in so beeping long. Could this really be it? Have we found the answer? Can I eat relatively normal? My mind was racing. I carried on walking and got ready for bed and the pain started to kick in and build up as I was moving around but I didn't mind - I had WALKED up there NOT CRAWLED up like I normally would. I was so emotional and then slept like a baby through the night which was another first for a very long time. I saw a glimmer of hope. I've also been given a medication that is part of the Epeleptic Drug family to help spasming sparking stupid nerves which can potentially help with pain too. My fish brain memory couldn't retain the name of the medicine so, when I collect it from the chemist I shall let you all know the name of it :) 

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Today, slightly different story my friends. Granted the pain is nowhere near as bad as it can be but it is about 6:30pm and I haven't actually eaten yet. The fear of eating knowing I'm already in pain and that it will potentially and probably make it worse is taking over. It could be the bruising from the injection making it worse or I could just need a higher dose or it just hasn't kicked in properly yet or is it just not working... I got no clue. I need to try find ways to keep calm and get over my fear and anxiety of trying to eat even if I'm already in pain. Even yesterday when my dad put the plate of food in front of me, I became overwhelmed with anxiety and panic and fear about how the food could hurt me still. I honestly felt like I was going to have a panic attack over it! Even though it was Sweet n Sour Chicken (Soya Meat) which I LURVVVVVVVVVV!! I have so many freaking different emotions in my head right now that I could explode into a million different pieces HAHA :P 

Well you lovely human beings, that's all I got for ya today!! I shall keep you all informed. Be sure to comment below any tips of keeping calm and collected! Remember to spread the word to raise awareness and maybe one day find a cure in the future! Please could you be so kind as to check out my Youtube Channel. It always makes me super smiley and happy when the view count goes up and people thumbs up and comment on my things I've put effort (and the energy I do have) into. So if it was you THANK YOU SO MUCH and if it wasn't ..... I'll let you off just this once ;) 

Sees ya later

Stay Strong

<3